Category: Observations
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Note to Self, No. 5,618
No matter how careful you are, it is impossible to walk three blocks to your car with five coffees, wearing white jeans and not spill all over them at some point. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples…
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PML 1.0 Specification
WARNING: Extreme geek humor ahead PML (Porno Markup Language), a pornographic computer language specification proposed by DL Byron is nearly ready for release by the W3C. The specifications are as follows: Latest version: http://www.w3.org/TR/porno-spec/ Previous version: http://www.w3.org/TR/2005/TIT-porno-spec-20050428/ Editor: DL Byron Contributors: Davezilla W3C Jerking Draft 30 June 2005 PML is a general-porno markup language designed…
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Top ten ways to annoy your coworkers
Send company layoff emails from their desk while they are away at lunch. Eat other coworkers’ lunch. Frame your coworker by leaving a trail of crumbs to their desk and put the leftovers in their wastepaper basket. Piranhas in the water cooler. Apply for a job with the competition under your coworker’s name and have…
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Stop it. Just stop.
I have determined that “What the heckers?” is the single worst euphemism I have ever heard. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest…
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The truth behind FUPA
FUPA Acronym for “Fat Upper Pubic Area”; common misinterpretations include “Fat Upper Pussy Area,” “Fat Upper Penile Area” and “Farting Under Pelicans Asses.” Also, often confused with FUBU, an overpriced brand of clothes that suburban caucasian adolescent males wear to impress suburban caucasian females who associate the clothing with large genitalia. From the Urban Dictionary…
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Pickup lines that suck
“I suppose a lot of men stare at your tits, huh?” “You like cartoon rabbits, too? I like dressing up as one in bed.” “That’s a really sexy bra. I stole one just like that from my neighbor’s clothesline.” “Lemme have a few more beers first so you look pretty.” “That’s a hot dress. Makes…
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Unlikely pizza toppings
Sea Monkeys Papsmearoni The milk of human kindness Cactus marmalade* Contraceptive jelly The fruit of my loins* Peanut brittle Italian sausage, made from real Italians Gummi Bears* The apple of my eye *With help from the lovely Natalie viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy…
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Lose your lunch Friday
Wow. Last night as I read my email I was aghast by some of the links that came in. MJJ Source, Link via Esther Unicorn Orgy. Hummel figurines for bestial pagans? [NFSW] Too sick to work, but not too sick to wrestle alligators viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work…
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How to speak in account rep
When they say, “The client wants to move in a new direction…” They mean, “I want to move in a new direction…” When they say, “The client believes your idea may be detrimental to their business.” They mean, “I have no idea what your idea means. Does it have like, science or something?” When they…
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Note to Self, No. 5,605
Do not get into a conversation with this man ever again. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative…
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Note to Self, No. 5,602
The next time we share ice cream with the cats, wear a tinfoil hat afterward to shield our brain from the cats. They are trying to melt our brain with their heat vision. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6…
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Top ten worst things about summer
Finding Earwigs in your shoes Discovering how many of your neighbors and coworkers eschew deoderant. Realizing your neighbors have turned into Earwigs. Smelling year-old grease burning on your neighbour’s barbecue. Realizing it’s not grease; they’re grilling Earwigs. Seeing a sexy woman adjusting her Daisy Dukes from behind and realizing she’s actually a man. Trying your…
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