Pickup lines that suck

“I suppose a lot of men stare at your tits, huh?”

“You like cartoon rabbits, too? I like dressing up as one in bed.”

“That’s a really sexy bra. I stole one just like that from my neighbor’s clothesline.”

“Lemme have a few more beers first so you look pretty.”

“That’s a hot dress. Makes you kind of look like a hooker. Wait, you’re not a cop, are you?”

“You remind of someone. My frat brother, Gunther. Man, could he put away the beer!”

“I really wish they’d rerun BJ and the Bear. I could be watching that while you make me dinner.”

“If your taste in men is anything like your bad taste in clothes, then I’m perfect for you.”

“Is that really your nose? Dayum!”

“I slept with Michael Jackson.”

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Show 18 Comments


  1. “You’re so hot I could fry bacon on you”

    “I want you to be my acrobat”

    “You’re wearing your pants way too high. Let me lower them”

    “All aboard the first train to funkytown…by which I mean bed”

    “I say, your visual appoplexies are stunningly boner-conducive!”

    Don’t ask me from where I got those…:razz:

  2. TinaMarie

    Never forget the old standby “If I told you that you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

    My favorite is “Hey babe–can I put my front end connector into your GUI (prounounced gooey) interface?” 😀

  3. Are you a differentiable function? Because I’d like to be tangent to your curves!

  4. “Hi My name is Tom Cruise and your a magnificent women”

  5. Ron

    Oldie but a goodie:

    “If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?”

  6. worst pickup line ever:

    “Pull my finger!”

  7. DK

    You look a lot like my sister-slash-first cousin!:roll:

  8. Spud

    Hi there, I’ve been watching you for awhile now…

    Hi, you know you look strangely familiar…

    Gidday babe, how about a drink?

    Hey there, when’s the baby due…

  9. GrumpySimon

    Ahoy there! My name be Captain Bluebeard. Be thar an x painted on the seat of thy pants, wench?

    Methinks there be fabulous booty buried within!

  10. “Hey babe, I’ve got my very own website. Wanna be on it?”

  11. “I don’t need a condom, baby… I’ve got a shovel and a bag of lime in my trunk.”

  12. Mandy

    Remind me not to date Keith Burgin! :wtf:

  13. notinlove

    Keith, thank you for sharing that image, it is truly the most unpleasant oneliner ever heard, now jump into this hole and I’ll bury you. *strikes Kieth on head with a ten pound maul* :dead:

  14. Anonymous


  15. Andrew

    Hey babe, do you like raisins? How bout a date?

    Nice pants, they would look even better on my floor.

    Do you wash your pants in Windex, cause I can see myself in ’em.

    Are you from Tennessee cause you’re the only 10 I see.

    Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

    Are your legs tired? cause you’ve been running through my mind all day.

    I could go on like this all night:twisted:

Comments are closed