Category: Observations

  • Friday Saturday Question #2

    A day late, but I did post yesterday. If it was any bigger, would it break the bank?   And here’s another question from Mandy (Locke, not MandyFish). “the girls who read your blog self-refer to ourselves as zilla girls. i never hear the boys call themselves zilla boys. i have a suggestion. since we’re…

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    Davezilla

  • How to sit through an all-day meeting

    8:00AM: Listen attentively. Take fastidious notes that would put a science reporter to shame. 9:00AM: Tap chin with pen while slightly lifting brows to appear highly engrossed. 10:00AM: Take a relaxed sidelong glance at the clock for no reason. Notice a thirst developing. 10:15AM: Finally let out for a 15 minute break. Crack a joke…

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    Davezilla

  • An Open Letter to Marriott Hotels

    Dear Marriott, I spend many nights in your hotels on various business trips. Generally, I have a good stay. Your staff is courteous and helpful, the rooms clean. But I do have a few suggestions. English Muffins should generally made from flour, not a high-quality latex rubber. You might want to look into that. Your…

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    Davezilla

  • Vote for Raymi the Minx!

    Here’s your chance to vote for the hottest, funniest Zilla Girl ever: Raymi the Minx! Her blog is hilarious (if you read me, you should definitely be reading her) and she’s a great person, too! We love the Minx! Vote now!

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    Davezilla

  • Friday Question #1

    I’ve decided to ask a question every Friday this year. We’re starting out with a two-part question. Try to keep up. Guns or bacon and why?  

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    Davezilla

  • 2009 New Years Resolutions

    As has been the custom on this site since 1994, I am posting my New Years Resolutions. I try to make mine easily attainable so I don’t get down on myself midway through the year. I resolve not to accept a Sloppy Joe from a Maori Cannibal I resolve not to incite our distant cousins—the…

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    Davezilla

  • Things I Learned from Medical Ads

    All senior citizen couples live on the beach, are both still living and have a Golden Retriever All women laugh and dance in meadows during their periods Overweight people cannot date or go on vacations until they are on a weight loss medication Erectile dysfunction happens to handsome men who suffer no signs of depression…

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    Davezilla

  • An Open Letter to All Friend Requests on Facebook

    Thank you for trying to add me as a friend because you: read my blog saw me speak at your conference want me to fix your computer want me to link to your blog so you’ll be “popular, real fast” are stalking my girlfriend I’d love to reciprocate, however I have a few prerequisites, so…

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    Davezilla

  • Worst Gifts to Give Your Boyfriend or Husband

    A copy of The Rules Golden Girls Season 1 DVD set Febreze Noticeables Frilly drapes My Little Pony Crystal Rainbow Castle Playset Pink hand tools A coupon for Enzyte A Utilikilt Season tickets to the Detroit Lions (still 0-14, ouch!) What gifts would you avoid?

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    Davezilla

  • Worst Gifts to Give Your Girlfriend or Wife

    The Good Wife’s Guide A weight scale The phone numbers of every stripper you’ve ever met A porcupine Instruction and Advice for the Young Bride Manual A mustard sandwich An extension cord, used A box of rust An ultimatum What gifts would you shy away from giving?

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    Davezilla

  • Definition of a Douchebag

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    Davezilla

  • Cloning Scarlett

    Full size version

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    Davezilla