Year: 2007
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Caption Time #162
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Davezilla’s Dictionary, Part 4
Fuckle: v. To really screw something up. Won’t get you in trouble to say it. At least not right away.Ex. Darn it all, this Windows Vista sure is fuckled up. Janx: v. Past tense of jinx. Or should be. Ex. I janx that bitch, but good. Pune: adj. Something disgusting. Something that smells bad. (On…
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Overheard: Thai Restaurant Edition
Scene: Natalie and I are eating Thai in what we thought was a private booth. Behind us was a grandmother and her two unruly grandchildren. Grandmother: Mawcus? Mawcus! You’ve taken in too much food. Spit it out. Spit it out right now, young man. Right here. Spit it out on the table. Marcus: Plplpltew! Granddaughter:…
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Caption Time #161
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Failed Valentines Sentiments
These didn’t work last year or this year. Don’t try them next year. When you said you wanted me to meet your mother, I knew in my heart you were special. Is she up for a three-way, as well? My hulking, little love buffalo. Your hips are like two enormous wetlands, teeming with wildlife. You’re…
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Dear Mistre Dave Zilla
Normally I don’t reprint email, respecting the privacy of my readers and because I have better things to do. However, when I am specifically requested to reprint said communiqu? by none other than the Sultan of Cleveland, well, what can one do? I give you, unabridged, yesterday’s fan mail: Dear Mistre Dave Zilla, I know…
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Caption Time #160
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Too soon?
Beloved pinup model and pop icon, Anna Nicole Smith dies, suddenly. The identity of her baby’s father is left uncertain. The next day, Microsoft’s Clippy is declared officially dead. Coincidence, you say? I think not. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl…
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Caption Time #159
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Overheard
Bob: “I see you wear white frequently.” Me: “Every day, Bob. We’ve been through this six or seven times.” Bob: “I see you come to Starbucks a lot.” Me: “Yes, Bob.” Bob: “And I see you wear white frequently.” Me: “Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Bob: “No, my name is Bob.” Me: “Thank you, Captain Bobvious.”…
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