Year: 2007

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Nikki: “I was too tired for movies last night. Allergies are kicking my ass.”Me: “Why do allergies have to kick our ass? Why can’t they lightly pinch it?”Nikki: “Seriously.”Me: “Or grope it.”Nikki: “Hehehehe.”Me: “My allergies are really groping my ass. And it’s kinda nice.”

Every year in the Mongol Empire, circus performers from the Far East and would arrive to demonstrate feats of skill and daring and 1169 C.E. was no different. It was this year that a small girl-child named Temüjin would see the circus for the first time. While the tigers, elephants, camels and phoenixes were impressive…

“There’s worse things out tonight then those creatures.”“Like what?”“Like me.” “We got something special, babe. Real special. Now ditch the bra and get back onstage.” “Don’t go out there. You’ll only get killed. Ben needs you. I need you.” “This knife belonged to my great granddaddy. Killed a lot of Indians with it. Now it’s…

Three course picnic, wine coolers and those adorable glasses from Target! “Do fish prefer Andes’ Mints or Truffles as bait?” “What do you mean, our laughing is scaring away the fish?” “I’m not sure how good these silver hooks are, but aren’t they cute?” “Do these waders make my butt look big?” I’m sure I…

OMGWTFLOLBBQ!!!1! Tuxedo t-shirts Two strippers at the reception. One each for the Groom and the Best Man Kegger Centerpieces would consist of the TV Guide and a remote 60″ LCD TV for watching the game during the service Bridesmaid Wet T-Shirt Competition In place of the Top 40 DJ, Motorhead will be playing a private…