Unusual names and invisible friends

Heather Champ mentioned her dogs' full names in a contest yesterday: Chieka Ciquita Banana Boom Boom Powazek Champ and Bugsley Dante Alphonso P-Pants Champ Powazek. Such clever and descriptive names. The names reminded me of one of my sisters, who had an imaginary friend as a child. Her imaginary friend's name was Penny Pipperdoodle and she lived in our bathroom fan. Naturally, she was quite offended whenever the fan was turned on, as it spun everything in Penny's "house" around. Why, it would take Penny and her 17 siblings several hours to set things aright! How about you? Any imaginary…

Caption Time #38

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Bad Places for a Third Nipple

It's not terribly uncommon for persons of either gender to possess a third nipple. What is uncommon is having the extraneous areola appear in the expected location. Often they are to be found on knees, thighs or shoulder-blades. While neither Natalie (yes, she's finally updated) nor I can claim ownership of a vestigial nipple, we spent an interesting hour pondering the worst possible locations to have one. On an eyelid Crown of a molar Attached to the cochlea On someone else's chest Under a fingernail Hanging from an eyelash On your voice On your dog On the soul On the…

Where the beautiful people are

Back in the 1980s when it seemed every major city had a goth club called "Asylum" or "Sanctuary", there was an upsurge in singles bars for yuppies. Most had catchy, but annoying, two-syllable names like, "Scruples" or "Mixers" or "Wombats". Recently, specialty clubs for special needs groups have popped up around the world. I imagine they'd have names like … Distractions: For singles with A.D.D. Twitches: The meeting place for singles with Tourette Syndrome. Wheezer's: Where well-to-do asthmatics mingle. Poseurs: The place for aging new wavers. Stumpy's: Serving the single amputee since 1982. Trekkies! for the permanently single. Doody's: A…

We need to talk…

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Complete this sentence #17

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We assumed …

I guess I should have used a capital four. I showed this error message to my coworker Jim. He told me to imagine if Yahoo extended the map's "assumption" feature to their search: We assumed you meant transvestites, not transmissions. We assumed you meant was, not was. We assumed you meant Paris, France, not Paris Hilton. We assumed you meant bikinis, not briefs. We assumed you meant progress, not Congress. We assumed you meant rudimentary, not Rudy Giuliani. We assumed you meant software, not underwear. We assumed you meant prawn, not pr0n. We assumed you meant Spanish Fly, not spinach.…

Fun with Anna

Anna is the animated help desk at IKEA's Web site. She had some interesting answers to my questions. Click on the image for the whole story.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for…

Winners of the Blonde Speed Dressing Championship

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Who’s wearing my genes?

Each year I become somewhat introspective on my birthday (rather than merely depressed), as I reflect on my life and what I have or have not become. This year it became apparent to me that the following genes remain absent or dormant in my genetic make up: The gene that enjoys waking up prior to 10am The gene that thinks pop stars have something relevant to say The gene that allows one to wear spandex pants with fur-lined Mukluks The gene that let one appreciate interpretive dance, tumbling routines and Disney on Ice The gene that drives one to own…

Mind your T’s and A’s

On Friday I got the following error message in BBEdit. Someone had misspelled "title" within a link tag. Error:File wn_messaging.jsp; Line 72: Document type does not permit attribute "tit" within element "<a>". The moral? Don't put your tits in your a.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra…

Psychic or psycho?

Spotted at Starbucks last night chanting, "Am I psychic or psycho? Psychic or psycho? Psycho or psychic? You decide! AHAHAHAHAHA!" He and his 35 year-old D&D buddies seemed to find this highly amusing. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap…