Year: 2005

I bought a candle. The label said, “Fig-Olive”, which sounds like rather a revolting combination, but actually smells quite good. These, however, may not. “The Toronto” A tantalizing combination of raccoon musk and overturned garbage can Last Year’s Yogurt “CSI” Experience forensic science in 8 and 10 inch tapers Burnt broccoli-melting styrofoam Unwashed Mawashi $2…

Nude clown orgies Goat oil-wrestling Snacktime with Michael Jackson Republican boner contest Goatse ability Jack Ozbourne-Paris Hilton lovefest Projectile Leprosy plague All Sims women become Ann Coulter My Albanian neighbors Yanni soundtrack

Today I felt old for the first time. No, I’m not getting creaky bones, or wrinkles or even moving slower than I did in my 20s. I discovered … a … white … chest hair. Shoot me now. 😳 viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra…

While at the corporate giant coffeehouse the other day, I had the unfortunate experience of standing in line behind a most irksome woman, a beastly snob who felt the world was here to serve her. Picture Harry Potter’s fat Aunt Marge with an uppity East Coast accent. She got out of line to ask two…

Were I to write a novel, there would be no clever plot ideas waiting in my notebooks, but I do have an opening line: “I have no love for the buttons my tailor chose…” It’s ambiguous, pretentious and mysterious in only ten simple words. What would yours be? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic…