Overheard: Oyster Bar Edition

Engaged CoupleAfter finding the impossible present for Natalie today, I was quite proud and decided to celebrate at my luck by stopping at Tom’s Oyster Bar for some chowdah and a Guinness, henceforth known as the best lunch ever. Nearby was a boisterous couple. Their conversation was both amusing and ridiculous. I jotted down as much as I could on a napkin for your enjoyment, because I love you.

Background: She is from Miami and met him online. He wants her to move in with him, but she wants a ring on her finger first. All of her earthly possessions are in a van parked nearby. Her skin has seen too much of the Florida sun and has a crocodilian texture. He seems not to have seen daylight in many a year. I suspect she lured him out of hibernation, or perhaps, from under a bridge.

Her: “I’m clumshy. Everyone shinksh I’m drunk alla time, but itsh jusht clumshinesh.”

Her: “I won’t move my shtuff until you buy me a ring. Unnershtan?
Him: “I can’t afford no ring, I just bought you lunch.”
Her: “You can too. Jusht take my credit card and get me one.”
Him: “You gotta credit card?”
Her: “The other thing wuzhรขโ‚ฌยฆ [ pause ] Oh! My kidsh are afeared of you.”
Him: “If they say I touched them, they are fucking liars.”
Her: “I know. Fuck-fuckin’ kidsh. Hey, marry me.”

Her: “Look at thish bag. Ishn’t thish nishe?”
Him: “Yeah. Looks expensive.”
Her: “It ish! I got it at Macy’sh. It was at leasht $200.”
Him: “How’d you afford that?”
Her: “Silly. I shtole it.”
Him: “Cool.”

free viagra
buy viagra online
generic viagra
how does viagra work
cheap viagra
buy viagra
buy viagra online inurl
viagra 6 free samples
viagra online
viagra for women
viagra side effects
female viagra
natural viagra
online viagra
cheapest viagra prices
herbal viagra
alternative to viagra
buy generic viagra
purchase viagra online
free viagra without prescription
viagra attorneys
free viagra samples before buying
buy generic viagra cheap
viagra uk
generic viagra online
try viagra for free
generic viagra from india
fda approves viagra
free viagra sample
what is better viagra or levitra
discount generic viagra online
viagra cialis levitra
viagra dosage
viagra cheap
viagra on line
best price for viagra
free sample pack of viagra
viagra generic
viagra without prescription
discount viagra
gay viagra
mail order viagra
viagra inurl
generic viagra online paypal
generic viagra overnight
generic viagra online pharmacy
generic viagra uk
buy cheap viagra online uk
suppliers of viagra
how long does viagra last
viagra sex
generic viagra soft tabs
generic viagra 100mg
buy viagra onli
generic viagra online without prescription
viagra energy drink
cheapest uk supplier viagra
viagra cialis
generic viagra safe
viagra professional
viagra sales
viagra free trial pack
viagra lawyers
over the counter viagra
best price for generic viagra
viagra jokes
buying viagra
viagra samples
viagra sample
generic cialis
cheapest cialis
buy cialis online
buying generic cialis
cialis for order
what are the side effects of cialis
buy generic cialis
what is the generic name for cialis
cheap cialis
cialis online
buy cialis
cialis side effects
how long does cialis last
cialis forum
cialis lawyer ohio
cialis attorneys
cialis attorney columbus
cialis injury lawyer ohio
cialis injury attorney ohio
cialis injury lawyer columbus
prices cialis
cialis lawyers
viagra cialis levitra
cialis lawyer columbus
online generic cialis
daily cialis
cialis injury attorney columbus
cialis attorney ohio
cialis cost
cialis professional
cialis super active
how does cialis work
what does cialis look like
cialis drug
viagra cialis
cialis to buy new zealand
cialis without prescription
free cialis
cialis soft tabs
discount cialis
cialis generic
generic cialis from india
cheap cialis sale online
cialis daily
cialis reviews
cialis generico
how can i take cialis
cheap cialis si
cialis vs viagra
generic levitra
levitra attorneys
what is better viagra or levitra
viagra cialis levitra
levitra side effects
buy levitra
levitra online
levitra dangers
how does levitra work
levitra lawyers
what is the difference between levitra and viagra
levitra versus viagra
which works better viagra or levitra
buy levitra and overnight shipping
levitra vs viagra
canidan pharmacies levitra
how long does levitra last
viagra cialis levitra
levitra acheter
comprare levitra
levitra ohne rezept
levitra 20mg
levitra senza ricetta
cheapest generic levitra
levitra compra
cheap levitra
levitra overnight
levitra generika
levitra kaufen
Show 27 Comments


  1. Doggone dog thong!:wtf: Is that a real product?

  2. :wtf: I feel sorry for any dog that has to wear one of those things.

  3. hippychick576

    I had to put my coffee down and clean off the monitor again. Dog Thongs. And to think, someone would actually pay $20 for one. Should buy one for my ex-mother-in-law. She could knock you out with her farts and then act like it was nothing. Would actually have to open all windows in the house to air it out. Jeez!

  4. hippychick

    Oh, I almost forgot. They’re a match made in heaven, those two. Dumb and dumberer ๐Ÿ™„

  5. GFL

    Dog thong for the ladies cool,
    Sweata for the man dog with saying
    “Jingle me balls” on the back. Cooler.

  6. Spud

    I’m afeared for the poor dogs…


  7. mitch

    :evil:Republicans should not be allowed to go out in public and/or to breed. This is a perfect example of that.

  8. Sam


    what a disgusting product..but wait there’s more, look further and he has them for humans as well!

  9. Marcus

    I actually saw a chair cushion for people who have a problem with farting. It was pretty funny reading the instruction. It basically said you must be sitting the it for it to work. I guess they were afraid that someone might put it on their head.

    Okay, cartoon is great. Sounds like bar talk in Thailand. “You big fat farang (foreigner) you marry and give lot money for sick buffalooo, mama, papa, famileeee, and me. Welcome to the “Farand Thai Bar” scence. ๐Ÿ˜† Funny to listen the fools, but :hurl: don’t look at them.

  10. Anna

    Looks like there’s alot of future in that relationship :hurl:

  11. Craig

    I wish my girlfriend would let me buy her ring on her credit card. Kfed syle, yo! ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

  12. You have the best luck running into these idiots. Your like flypaper for freaks. It’s great.

  13. jules

    Nothing is classier than a woman who money shots an entire bar. :thong:

  14. frisko

    Match made in heaven. Good thing you had a pen during lunch.

  15. could someone please tell her to close her legs… the prospect of pink…!

  16. Lace Valentine

    Cool drawing, Dave. Looks like Madonna hanging out at a Klingon Bar. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

  17. Craig

    Who would have ever thought that comic book guy from the simpsons, and kelly bundy would hit it off? :limp:

  18. Da Popster

    U R scaring me with that drawing, been in close proximity to similar when younger, now I’m gonna have nightmares :limp::hurl:

  19. Mandy

    How did he score HER? :hurl:

  20. Bubbles

    I would laugh, but the thought that she has kids stopped me short. Hey Jerry Springer! I’ve got your new guests here!

  21. The thought that these two “human beings” even exist frightens me to my very core.:wtf:

    Whoever invented the dog thong should be beaten to death with their drawing board.

  22. Spud

    *note to self

    do not show drawings to Esther


  23. bobbi

    that was so icky yucky that i’ll have nightmarres for a week:wang::hurl:

  24. charlie

    Methinks neutering shouldn’t be considered just for pets anymore…

  25. tigerlily

    Dog thong hummm So was her last lover named Rover? :wtf:

  26. Well, if you’re going to buy a doggie thong, at least you ought to get it from “the #1 name in flatuence odor control products”. I know when I need flatulence odor control, I head straight for Flat-D.



  27. Paige

    Was that Britney and K-fed you overheard talking???????Oh, do they make those thongs in a cat version??I have 3 cats who use gas as a weapon when they dont want to be picked up!!!

Comments are closed