Notes to Self, No. 5,822, Nachos Edition

  1. “Restaurant Style” tortilla chips means, “Our retarded bagger sat on them, crushing each chip to an ant-sized bite.”
  2. Four jalapenos are more than sufficient for one plate of nachos. Eleven may be over the top. Trust me on this.
  3. Cats will not eat nachos, not matter how hungry they are.
  4. True fact: Queso is actually made from molten Play-Doh.
  5. The number of ounces of cheese you add to nachos is directly proportional to the number of hours you will spend regretting the decision to make nachos.
free viagra
buy viagra online
generic viagra
how does viagra work
cheap viagra
buy viagra
buy viagra online inurl
viagra 6 free samples
viagra online
viagra for women
viagra side effects
female viagra
natural viagra
online viagra
cheapest viagra prices
herbal viagra
alternative to viagra
buy generic viagra
purchase viagra online
free viagra without prescription
viagra attorneys
free viagra samples before buying
buy generic viagra cheap
viagra uk
generic viagra online
try viagra for free
generic viagra from india
fda approves viagra
free viagra sample
what is better viagra or levitra
discount generic viagra online
viagra cialis levitra
viagra dosage
viagra cheap
viagra on line
best price for viagra
free sample pack of viagra
viagra generic
viagra without prescription
discount viagra
gay viagra
mail order viagra
viagra inurl
generic viagra online paypal
generic viagra overnight
generic viagra online pharmacy
generic viagra uk
buy cheap viagra online uk
suppliers of viagra
how long does viagra last
viagra sex
generic viagra soft tabs
generic viagra 100mg
buy viagra onli
generic viagra online without prescription
viagra energy drink
cheapest uk supplier viagra
viagra cialis
generic viagra safe
viagra professional
viagra sales
viagra free trial pack
viagra lawyers
over the counter viagra
best price for generic viagra
viagra jokes
buying viagra
viagra samples
viagra sample
generic cialis
cheapest cialis
buy cialis online
buying generic cialis
cialis for order
what are the side effects of cialis
buy generic cialis
what is the generic name for cialis
cheap cialis
cialis online
buy cialis
cialis side effects
how long does cialis last
cialis forum
cialis lawyer ohio
cialis attorneys
cialis attorney columbus
cialis injury lawyer ohio
cialis injury attorney ohio
cialis injury lawyer columbus
prices cialis
cialis lawyers
viagra cialis levitra
cialis lawyer columbus
online generic cialis
daily cialis
cialis injury attorney columbus
cialis attorney ohio
cialis cost
cialis professional
cialis super active
how does cialis work
what does cialis look like
cialis drug
viagra cialis
cialis to buy new zealand
cialis without prescription
free cialis
cialis soft tabs
discount cialis
cialis generic
generic cialis from india
cheap cialis sale online
cialis daily
cialis reviews
cialis generico
how can i take cialis
cheap cialis si
cialis vs viagra
generic levitra
levitra attorneys
what is better viagra or levitra
viagra cialis levitra
levitra side effects
buy levitra
levitra online
levitra dangers
how does levitra work
levitra lawyers
what is the difference between levitra and viagra
levitra versus viagra
which works better viagra or levitra
buy levitra and overnight shipping
levitra vs viagra
canidan pharmacies levitra
how long does levitra last
viagra cialis levitra
levitra acheter
comprare levitra
levitra ohne rezept
levitra 20mg
levitra senza ricetta
cheapest generic levitra
levitra compra
cheap levitra
levitra overnight
levitra generika
levitra kaufen


  1. Spud

    F*ck! that was f*cking brilliant eh.

    Laughed my f*cking arse off, yeah f*ck you Bill O’Reilly too you great f*cking knuckleheaded muthaf*cka.

    F*ck Christmas!

    oh yeah, cheese blocks your f*cking bowels up.

    f*cking cheese


  2. Craig

    I think four nachos isn’t nearly enough. There is always one guy(usually me) who likes to eat ALL the nachos, preferrably on 1 single nacho, tell you how good they are, then call you later that night complaining how much his ass is burning. :hurl:

    I cannot lie, i am a fox news watcher, but sometimes even i wish Bill O’reilly, and John Gibson were in a horrific car accident. (that’s horrible, what did they ever do to me?) :wtf:

  3. Mandy

    How dare they call that a hate crime against christianity! 👿 People were saying happy holidays long before it was politically correct. 🙄

  4. mitch smith

    :twisted:I must say with all sincerity and with all the love of the baby Jesus in my heart and loins….FUCK XMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That felt better.

  5. Lace Valentine

    I just hate to think what Bill O’Reilly would do with an exfoliated taco. “A no spit zone!” 👿

  6. Marcus

    Okay, a word about Christmas. Christians (Catholics) stole the holiday from the pagans. If people want to celebrate Christ birthday on that day, it is fine, but just don’t think that day has always been Christmas. Look it up on the on the History Channel website. There are also other websites to support this. Sol Invictus

    It’s natcho cheese.

  7. E

    my cat eats nachos 😕

    he’ll actually eat anything that remotely looks apetizing…

    one time he snagged a bite size candy bar right out of my friends hand…(little bastard):evil:

  8. Christmas is all about fucking. Some virgin got fucked by god, and gave birth to a fucking miracle worker. A bunch of fucking nutzoids fucking killed him for fucking going around making them look fucking bad.
    Nowadays, fucking people celebrate this fucking day by chopping down fucking living trees, or digging holes in the fucking ground, sucking out fucking oil and fucking processing it into fucking polyester and fucking plastic. Fucking everybody fucking buys every fucking piece of fucking junk to give to their fucking friends and fucking relatives. Fuck, think of the fucking money being fucking made. Fucking people go home and get fucking drunk, go to fucking bed, fuck around for a fucking while, fucking get up and open fucking presents.

    I fucking say, it’s the fucking way to fucking spend an otherwise fucked-up time of the fucking year, with your fucked-up loved ones, in your fucked-up homes, sharing fucking fuck and fucking fuck.


  9. I fucking love nachos. The more cheese, the better.

    Rust, what are you trying to say?:twisted:

  10. Bubbles

    I’m sensing some hostility here. Remember, it’s a wonderful fucking life.

  11. btw, it is fucking nacho cheese, not fucking natcho.

  12. Jalapenos, otherwise known as Colon Draino.

  13. Spud

    Heh! glad some others got it

    I thought my huma was a tuma.


  14. Spud

    I reckon Rust should be George W’s speech writer.

    Inject that certain jena se’qua to them.


  15. Marcus

    Thanks rust for the heads up. I think you need to have a drink or two. Don’t wait until New Year’s Eve. Start early. 😆

  16. Both of my cats are nacho freaks. If they hear a bag begin opened they come running and complain until I give them one. Jalapeno-flavoured seems to be a crowd favourite.

    Maybe I’m slowly making my cats sick, but the sound of a cat crunching a nacho is surprisingly entertaining…

  17. ariel

    best essay ever, thank you davezilla

  18. jews for jaysus

    Said the Druids to the Christians….

    “It’s nacho holiday!”

  19. CroneWynd


    Back when I was a fundie-right-wing-extremist Christian, I wouldn’t celebrate Christmas, as it was a pagan holiday.

    Now that I’m a pagan, I am doing Yule, not Christmas, as Christmas is a christian holiday…

    Help, I need medication for the head-spinning.

  20. Paige

    Rust, do I sense some hostility????? Merry fucking Christmas everyone!!!!!!!!:eek:

  21. hippychick

    nachos with jalapenos…good for ya when your plumbing needs cleaning out…the more peppers the better…burns so good all they way down…and out. :dead:

    Bill O’Rielly is a true fucking prick. I agree with Spud…he should be dubwa’s speech writer.
    Lace..make that an exfoliating taco for his asshole..and tell O’Reilly to leave the pussy to someone who knows how to pet them correctly.

  22. Gaby

    Nachos, Yumm…:roll:

  23. dougieace

    nothing like the yule log after nachos

  24. ganicutie

    My cat will beg like a dog for nachos.

    Vote the F*ck Christmas guy for president.

Comments are closed