Year: 2005

  • 2006 New Years Resolutions

    Every year since this site began in 1995, I have posted my resolutions. To date, I am still not King of the World, Master of Time, Space and Depravity, but I am still trying. Continue on my yearly mission to find a cure for clowns and mimes Catering to my 15 year-old cat’s ever changing…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Ten things to do at a New Year’s Eve party

    Wake up writing someone else’s blog Declare war on Iraq! Oh wait, never mind… Plaster the streets with incriminating photos involving your pet and a root vegetable Tattoo Bible verses all over your body and then do a strip tease for your friends Should anyone spill a drink on you, scream, “It burns, it burns!”…

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    Davezilla

  • Seen on the way to Ottawa

    Yeah, I don’t get it either. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra…

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  • Seen at the Polish Christmas Carp Festival

    Don’t ask me how Natalie and I got caught on a street full of carp and Polish hookers. It just worked out that way. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side…

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  • Caption Time #86

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  • It’s Boxing Day

    So what’s in the box. No more than thirteen guesses, each. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative…

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  • Christmas is for sharing

    Darth Vader, Freddy Kruger, Hannibal Lector, Dracula, Chucky and others show us the meaning of Christmas in this trouching video. [cough] viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra…

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  • Complete this sentence #28, One word comment

    Longtime reader Dante’s idea: Good thing, too. I start a story and each one of you continues it. Here’s the catch: You can only add one word per comment. Got that? One word. I knew I’d given grandmother my lover’s present when she opened the box and pulled out a huge ________. viagra free viagra…

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    Davezilla

  • Last Minute Gift Ideas

    This year, give gifts that they’ll never forget. Or forgive. A bucket of fresh, molten lava Their very own Manure Spreader A stack of stolen porn An Igia Hair Removal kit A map of Guam A new tongue scraper An actual Jivaro shrunken head A sea lamprey A date with this woman A bowl of…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Overheard: Oyster Bar Edition

    After finding the impossible present for Natalie today, I was quite proud and decided to celebrate at my luck by stopping at Tom’s Oyster Bar for some chowdah and a Guinness, henceforth known as the best lunch ever. Nearby was a boisterous couple. Their conversation was both amusing and ridiculous. I jotted down as much…

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    Davezilla

  • Caption Time #85

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  • Notes to Self, No. 5,822, Nachos Edition

    “Restaurant Style” tortilla chips means, “Our retarded bagger sat on them, crushing each chip to an ant-sized bite.” Four jalapenos are more than sufficient for one plate of nachos. Eleven may be over the top. Trust me on this. Cats will not eat nachos, not matter how hungry they are. True fact: Queso is actually…

    Written by

    Davezilla