Under a spreading gherkin tree…

26 November, 2004Posted inUncategorized12 Comments
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14 year-old Thanksgiving memories

25 November, 2004Posted inObservations23 Comments
Thuisrday, 11am dear deadjournal readers, this may be the last u hear from me. no, i promise no more suicide attempts. 3 years in a row and kurt cobain STILL hasn't contacted me. wanker. i'm sure u smell real good now, kurt. as good as courtney's ruby starfruit. lol!! i fear this is the end. it's thanksgiving today and my parent are dragging me to my enormous carpenter aunt's house for dinner. her food is sheer microwaved venom. i will surely perish. if so, please leave my ipod to kyle (*smooch*) and my hissing cockroach is to be let loose…

Joke

24 November, 2004Posted inUncategorized25 Comments
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In the Beginning, God created the hobbits and the dwarves…

23 November, 2004Posted inObservations38 Comments
Have you read about the ridiculous goings-on in Georgia schools? They are actually placing "evolution is a theory" stickers in science books? If not, here is the actual sticker being placed into high school science books (Yes, in this century). This textbook contains material on evolution. Evolution is a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically considered. — SOURCE I have several problems with this. For one thing, never delude a child. For another, I get so tired of Creationists saying ridiculous things like,…

Overheard: Q’Doba Edition

22 November, 2004Posted inObservations32 Comments
Was eating in a local Mexican chain and the New Age Hippie Beast next to me in line carried on the following conversation: Line Cook (LC): What would you like, Ma'am? New Age Hippie Beast (NAHB): I want … that vegetable grilled buh-meeta? LC: Fajita? NAHB: That's the one. LC: What kind of salsa would you like on it? NAHB: What kind do you have? LC: Mild, Medium, Hot and Corn Salsa. NAHB: I'll have Ranch. LC: We … don't have Ranch. NAHB: I saw the word Ranch somewhere. LC: Here? NAHB: Maybe it was at home. LC: OK, well…

Relax, I’m here to protect you.

21 November, 2004Posted inUncategorized28 Comments
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Complete this sentence #14, Victoria’s Secret Edition

20 November, 2004Posted inObservations26 Comments
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Caption time #26

19 November, 2004Posted inCaption Time49 Comments
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Random Effluvia

17 November, 2004Posted inObservations29 Comments
I would like to build a popcorn-powered car. It would make a pleasing sound when driving and the exhaust would be tasty and make small birds happy. Teeth never inflate when you inhale, cause that would look really stupid. I'm glad it never rains skunks and porcupines. I heard someone say that we need to pray for peace. Except I thought she said, peas. So I prayed for peas. Then I had some for dinner. I'm glad I prayed for those peas, cause they were good. Whose bad idea was it to make a corn popsicle? viagra free viagra buy…

Overheard: Small change edition

16 November, 2004Posted inObservations20 Comments
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Note to self: 5,099

15 November, 2004Posted inObservations17 Comments
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