Fantasy Movies that Should Have Been

50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey Harry Potter and the Dirty Chamberpot Percy Jackson: The Panty Thief Star Trek: The Next Penetration Hunger Games: Catching Herpes Hellboy: The Golden G-String Indiana Jones and the Temple of Eros The Lion, The Witch and the Slutty Wardrobe Invasion of the Booty Snatchers How to Tame Your “Dragon" What fantasy movies did you think up?
What ad writers say to each other in bed

What Ad Writers Say to Each Other in Bed

Taste the rainbow! Just do it! Zoom Zoom! Think different. Finger-lickin' good! Are you a Cadbury's Fruit & Nut case? Clap on, clap off Wii would like to play Now you're playing with power! Rip, slip, brush..Ahhh! Reach out and touch someone. We try harder. The quick picker upper. A little dab'll do ya. Have it your way. Get N or get out Do you have the bunny inside? Let's make things better Live in Your world, play in ours Neighbor's envy, owner's pride Co-written by Chocolate Razor. This post originally appeared on Davezilla in 2008 but was ruined by…

What Men Say vs. What Women Hear

When we describe ourselves as being, “Super athletic.” You hear, “Flexes in front of the mirror. Every. Damn. Day.” When we describe ourselves as, “A big guy.” You hear, “A big, fat guy.” When we describe ourselves as being, “Quick-witted.” You hear, “Lies quickly.” When we describe ourselves as, “A traveler.” You hear, “Cheats on the road.” When we describe ourselves as, “A seasoned traveler.” You hear, “Strippers across the country know him by name.” When we describe ourselves as being, “In a band.” You hear, “Cheats on the road, while high.” When we describe ourselves as, “A burger and…

What Women Say vs. What Men Hear

When you describe yourself as being, “Svelte.” We hear, “Bulimic.” When you describe yourself as being, “Curvy.” We hear, “Fat.” When you describe yourself as being, “Buxom.” We hear, “Morbidly obese.” When you describe yourself as, “Creative.” We hear, “Kinky.” When you describe yourself as, “Having classic looks.” We hear, “6/10.” When you describe yourself as, having “European looks.” We hear, “My nose could split logs.” When you describe yourself as, “Sexy.” We hear, “Puts out on first date.” When you describe yourself as, “Having unique looks.” We hear, “May frighten small children.” When you describe yourself as, “A picky…

Sex on a Hot Tin Roof

I used to have a cat named Sex. I didn't name it. My roommate Chris H. had the honors. He was inspired by a mutual friend, Kevin F. who had cats named Gravity and Reality. Chris' rationale was it would be hilarious to yell "SEEEEEEEEX! Here Sex! Come on, pussy," across the neighborhood. Consequently we found other amusing things about that name. "Don't be afraid of Sex, unless she bites or scratches." "Hey. Sex is waiting for you, outside that door. Right now." "You hurt Sex!" "Haven't you been paying any attention to Sex?" "Is Sex all you think about?"…