Tag: Observations

  • Garlic buns

    Astute readers will notice that today’s photo is actually a souped-up version of the much-beloved “bootylicious” photo that randomly appears on this site’s masthead. Why a clove of garlic? Read on… Yesterday a young woman walked past me with a rather odd thing planted on the seat of her pants. A drawing of a clove…

  • I’m sorry, what was the question?

    Today’s post was inspired by loyal reader, Dee Evans. He says, “How about you do one of those things where you give us the punchline and we have to come up with the joke?” An excellent idea. The punchline: So the penguin throws out the donuts and tells the midget prostitute, “See? It’s just like…

  • Pep talk

    It’s not often one can walk into a public restroom and hear a conversation between a man and his penis. I had just that dubious honor bestowed upon me today in a certain downtown coffeehouse chain. The gentleman, who will not be named and may or may not be pictured below, was having trouble getting…

  • OK, fess up…

    Someone has subscribed me to GQ. That’s very nice as I happen to like it. I did not, however, need four copies of it. (But thank you just the same) viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra…

  • My thoughts are with you

    To all my friends in London, my thoughts are with you and your families. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices…

  • Useful movie quotes

    Oftentimes one finds oneself without the proper quip or epigram for a given situation. In such times, I prefer to look to the arts — particularly trashy movies — for inspiration. Below are my new favorites. Feel free to use them on coworkers and bosses in response to… well anything, really. What are your favorites?

  • Reader Poll

    What’s more annoying? The soundtracks in softcore porn, or the soundtracks on the Weather Channel, and why? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra…

  • A woman’s touch

    One thing that has always bothered me and that’s when a woman tells a man, “This place really needs a woman’s touch. It bothers me because a woman’s touch generally means seizure-inducing floral prints and a concrete duck on the front porch that wears a seasonal apron. Here’s what I mean: What you own What…

  • Overheard: War of the Worlds edition

    Warning: Movie spoiler ahead Well, not really, but if you’re a stickler for not knowing anything about a movie in advance, don’t say I didn’t warn you. So I went to see WotW by myself Sunday and as always, sat directly in front of the stupid couple that have to explain every single scene to…

  • Note to Self, No. 5,618

    No matter how careful you are, it is impossible to walk three blocks to your car with five coffees, wearing white jeans and not spill all over them at some point. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples…

  • PML 1.0 Specification

    WARNING: Extreme geek humor ahead PML (Porno Markup Language), a pornographic computer language specification proposed by DL Byron is nearly ready for release by the W3C. The specifications are as follows: Latest version: http://www.w3.org/TR/porno-spec/ Previous version: http://www.w3.org/TR/2005/TIT-porno-spec-20050428/ Editor: DL Byron Contributors: Davezilla W3C Jerking Draft 30 June 2005 PML is a general-porno markup language designed…

  • Top ten ways to annoy your coworkers

    Send company layoff emails from their desk while they are away at lunch. Eat other coworkers’ lunch. Frame your coworker by leaving a trail of crumbs to their desk and put the leftovers in their wastepaper basket. Piranhas in the water cooler. Apply for a job with the competition under your coworker’s name and have…