Freaks Archives | Page 11 of 13

Worst roommate ever

By Davezilla 06 April, 2005Observations45 Comments

Write about Worst roommate ever here. This man is quite simply the worst roommate in history. His requirements for a roommate are so severe and exacting, that he makes the perfect target for nonstop torture. Read his requirements, then after beating your head into a wall, return here to leave more torture ideas. I would host cock fighting matches in the garage. Long spur style, of course. I would have unprotected sex with homeless, French whores suffering from Tourettes Syndrome on his Bowflex. This would be after he catches me scrubbing the toilet with his toothbrush. I would buy the…

Ring their doorbell and run

By Davezilla 16 March, 2005Uncategorized25 Comments

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“Mom? Grandpa’s scaring me again!”

By Davezilla 09 March, 2005Uncategorized29 Comments

I really hope that’s a toy

By Davezilla 06 March, 2005Uncategorized17 Comments

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Da Hos Be All Up

By Davezilla 01 March, 2005Uncategorized32 Comments

Tufted Pinko

By Davezilla 15 February, 2005Uncategorized21 Comments

Normally, I wouldn't post such a large picture, but this is a special case. Natalie and I were freak watching on Sunday and spotted a rare Tufted Pinko. Fig. 1a Notice the winter plumage around the legs, bright pink to match, well nothing. Fig. 1b More pink, this midsection waistband alerts predators that the Pinko is not good to eat. Fig. 1c The Pinko often carries its sexual aids around with it, all colored pink, of course. Fig. 2a During the winter months, the Pinko will sprout a thicker mane, or supplement its own mane with artificial hair, as this…

Psychic or psycho?

By Davezilla 29 January, 2005Uncategorized11 Comments

Spotted at Starbucks last night chanting, "Am I psychic or psycho? Psychic or psycho? Psycho or psychic? You decide! AHAHAHAHAHA!" He and his 35 year-old D&D buddies seemed to find this highly amusing. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap…

Words fail me

By Davezilla 23 January, 2005Uncategorized29 Comments

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Relax, Iâ€™m here to protect you.

By Davezilla 21 November, 2004Uncategorized28 Comments

Total badass. Or not.

By Davezilla 01 November, 2004Uncategorized24 Comments

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Incident at table 14

By Davezilla 26 October, 2004Observations35 Comments

[SCENE: Mariko sushi restaurant in Toronto] Davezilla: Did you see what just walked in? Natalie: Unfortunately. [15 minutes later] Natalie: I swear I can actually hear her eating! Davezilla: I can, too. Oh Gawd. Donâ€™t turn around. Natalie: What? Whatâ€™s it doing? Davezilla: Trust me. You do not want to know! Natalie: OK, well tell me when we leave. [15 minutes later] Natalie: You were going to tell me of the horror you witnessed. Davezilla: Gawd. Ready for this? That sound you heard, that was the shrimp tempura being sucked in, two at a time. Natalie: Hold me, Dave!viagra free…

Guess my profession?

By Davezilla 21 October, 2004Uncategorized39 Comments