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Notes to Self: No. 6,304

By Davezilla 08 January, 2007Observations28 Comments

The next time you spill coffee on your expensive Irish cableknit sweater, do not use a red Christmas nakpin to mop it up. Now it has a permanent, red smear covering the permanent, brown coffee stain.

“Don’t make me go Aunt Jemima on yo’ ass!”

By Davezilla 07 January, 2007Uncategorized15 Comments

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Caption Time #152

By Davezilla 06 January, 2007Caption Time48 Comments

More people we dislike #14a

By Davezilla 05 January, 2007Observations56 Comments

Women in front of me at the airport Xray who wear knee-high lace-up boots People who try to parallel park while on the cell phone The coworker who ate the last bagel before I got one People who suck at life

No regrets

By Davezilla 04 January, 2007Uncategorized54 Comments

Photo via Teri A. Meme Alert I have been tagged by the extremely talented Rogers Cadenhead to provide you all with Five Things You Don't Know About Me. OK then. I once owned a cat named Sex. I had a lot of fun yelling for him to come in. I have dyed my hair red, purple, green, blue, black, orange, pink, silver and white, but never yellow I got out of gym class once because I was stung by a lionfish, which I owned. I can imitate squirrel calls well enough to confuse the hell out of them. I have…

Complete this Sentence, #34

By Davezilla 03 January, 2007Observations34 Comments

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Please solve a debate

By Davezilla 02 January, 2007Uncategorized46 Comments

I say Santa is impaled. Natalie says he's jumping to his death. Maybe you have a better theory. Please solve this debate. Vote A for Impalement. Vote B for Suicide by Jumping Vote C and give your theory viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before…

2007 New Years Resolutions

By Davezilla 01 January, 2007Observations46 Comments

Longtime readers of this site will know that I always post my resolutions and that I try to only make resolutions I know I can keep. Such as not reverting to cannibalism. I'd love to hear yours. I resolve to freely give the finger to clowns, mimes and Hummer drivers I resolve to openly point out those who still wear miniskirts with Uggs or prison pants I resolve that I will never hunt down and/or kill a coworker I resolve to never appear on an episode of COPS I resolve to have ten fingers all year I resolve to have…

Caption Time #151

By Davezilla 31 December, 2006Caption Time56 Comments

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Inventions I’d like to see

By Davezilla 30 December, 2006Observations36 Comments

They can make copiers that can run 500 documents at 120 pages per minute, so why can't they make a vending machine that accepts a wrinkly dollar bill? Can we make microwaves that read the barcodes on microwave popcorn and reset their own timers so they don't burn when idiot coworkers set them for 13 minutes? If they can make cold medicine that lasts 24 hours, why can't they make toothpaste that keeps my teeth clean for an entire day? Why isn't there toothpaste that tastes great after orange juice? Screw those heat packs for camping. How about socks that…

God says, “Cross!”

By Davezilla 29 December, 2006Uncategorized24 Comments

Say again? #2

By Davezilla 28 December, 2006Uncategorized18 Comments