Stores that never made it

I told Nikki that a popcorn store opened in Royal Oak. Her response was as always, subtle and understated. “Get the fuck out. Who needs a popcorn store?” Naturally, I responded that, “I do.” Then we had a giggle fit thinking of other useless stores that one might encounter in a dying strip mall.

  1. The Pencilery
  2. Pug Outfitters
  3. Dremel-O-Rama
  4. Chapstick City
  5. Macramé Palace
  6. TV Trays Plus
  7. Lon’s Place for Toothpicks
  8. The Spice Rack Hut
  9. Gordie’s House of Muesli
  10. World of Tarps!
  11. Mitzi’s Ginger Jar Emporium
  12. Sporks-N-Mor
  13. The Dishrag, by Giovanni
  14. Kenny’s Original House of Sandpaper
  15. Thermostat Town
  16. The 128 MB Flash Drive Store
  17. Nothing But Hairnets
  18. Kelly’s Carp Village
  19. Bug World
  20. Which ones have you seen?
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Show 21 Comments


  1. cows go moo

    Super Salmon Mart
    Everything Lampshade
    Boondoggle Hut
    The Amazing World of Pencil Sharpeners

  2. sledge

    The lint store Navel Fashions Nose Hair Shop Candle Shop Lighting Limited Ass hair removalstore “Buff Butts”

  3. Spud

    31. Nora’s Nest of Noses
    32. Pus Is Us
    33. Lepers Leap & Condiments
    34. Air’s R Us – N2 & More!
    35. The Bark Hut – Everything In Bark!


  4. Bigwavdave

    Mandy’s Ferret Farm

    Our motto is “Never send a weasel to do a ferret’s job.”

  5. Shrubby

    Pat’s Paper Weeght Peddler

  6. Shrubby

    Pat’s Paper Weight Peddler

  7. Dino

    I saw a restaurant called “Sam and Ella Diner”. I had to do a double take, but I guess the food has to be pretty good if you’re not afraid to sound like a name for food poisoning.

  8. How about just opening a chain of TARGET stores in Baghdad? The insurgents would really appreciate the clarity.

  9. junkman

    Stitchy McYarnpants – toilet paper roll & household items “cozy” emporium.
    (this weeks special: wool ends to short to use)
    (next weeks special: stitched egg carton lamp shades)
    check our “cindy bin” for discontinued yarns that no-one is interested in. πŸ’‘

  10. pablo

    Blondie’s – today’s special Bleach & Labotomy
    Specialized recycling stores – Kitty Litter, Tampons, Medical waste, liposucted fat and much, much more.
    Crap R Us
    Homeless Depot – Only sells the boxes the appliances came in
    Sylvan learning center for Ebonics & Spanglish
    New niche restaurants:
    Beaver’s – only serving cheese logs with nuts (knaw on that)
    HBO’s – Serving the exact same thing you’ve had for the last two months
    Cooter’s house of lips & pooters – Midwestern hotdog stand
    Kevin Federline’s house of Crabs (& lice)

  11. chainstay

    Fact imitates fiction. Or is it the other way around? There is a dying strip mall in Caldwell Idaho that has “The Macrame hut”

  12. Mitch

    The Bead Gallery (Little Glass beads for jewlery)
    The Tobacconist. Almost every mall/plaza had one (of one name or another) as long as I can remember….Until the late 80’s.

    Another “real” one I miss is Woolworths. It was basically “The Crap Store” but I liked it.

  13. Da Popster

    Chainsaws R Us
    Hockey Pucks ❓

  14. Flash Gordon

    1. Britney’s used panties.
    2. Paris HIlton’s makeovers.
    πŸ™„ πŸ˜› :wtf:

  15. Totally Tofu πŸ˜†

    Okay, that was sorta a joke, as I love tofu… but, seriously….

  16. beast

    [Comment ID #83866 will be quoted here]
    1. you assume she wears any

    (and you forgot the :puke: :puke: :limp: icons)

  17. How about this one:


    *wait a sec…

  18. BIG D

    YOU CAN,T BEAT OUR MEAT πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜€

  19. Don Jones

    The Man Store – Liquor in the Front Poker in the Rear 😳

  20. Don Jones

    By the way…I need the address of World of Tarps

  21. I was recently in Berlin where there was a plus sized womens clothing store called rather bluntly
    Complete with indicating arrows on either side.

Comments are closed