Annual Thanksgiving Day List
Longtime readers know that every year I write a list on Thanksgiving of what I am thankful for. This year is no exception. Please let everyone know what you are thankful for in the comments. I am thankful that… …Sarah Palin is back to being America's prettiest moose hunter. …cats cannot manipulate Plutonium. …unlike killer bees, poutine has not managed to cross the border into the US. …Uggs are not mandatory school uniform wear. Nor are Crocs. …Paris Hilton has disappeared from the media spotlight. …icebergs cannot fly. …mullets are popular again. Just for the comedic value I require. …people…
Collective Nouns for Web 2.0
Back in the Middle Ages, knowing what collective noun was applied to a group of animals was taken quite seriously. We all know the common ones, such as herd of cows, a pack of dogs, a flock of birds, but there were plenty of obscure ones like an exaltation of larks, a murder of crows, a shrewdness of apes, etc. Time for some new collective nouns for Internet groupings. If a group of whales is a pod, is a group of teenagers an iPod? A nuisance of 4Chan members A nest of Tweeple (Twitter users) A channel of YouTube watchers…
How to Speak Waiter
"I made this drink special for you. It has a unique, subtle flavor.""I've added a toxic cleaning chemical to poison you. Can you guess what it is before the EMT arrives?" "May I take this out of your way?""You selfish bastard. You're taking up a table for four by yourself during our dinner rush. I will continue to remove things until it soaks through your proto-hominid skull that you're not wanted." "How is everything tasting?""I don't give a shit how my service is, so I won't ask you about it." "Small, medium or large?""Just choose the large, fat-ass." "Would you…
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