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This is not a test

By Davezilla 12 February, 2005Observations20 Comments

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God lives in Kansas

By Davezilla 11 February, 2005Uncategorized37 Comments

After some playing with Google Maps, I decided to find out if the all-mighty Google knew the location of the Almighty. Apparently, He lives in southeast Kansas.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra…

Unusual names and invisible friends

By Davezilla 10 February, 2005Observations32 Comments

Heather Champ mentioned her dogs' full names in a contest yesterday: Chieka Ciquita Banana Boom Boom Powazek Champ and Bugsley Dante Alphonso P-Pants Champ Powazek. Such clever and descriptive names. The names reminded me of one of my sisters, who had an imaginary friend as a child. Her imaginary friend's name was Penny Pipperdoodle and she lived in our bathroom fan. Naturally, she was quite offended whenever the fan was turned on, as it spun everything in Penny's "house" around. Why, it would take Penny and her 17 siblings several hours to set things aright! How about you? Any imaginary…

Caption Time #38

By Davezilla 09 February, 2005Caption Time25 Comments

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Bad Places for a Third Nipple

By Davezilla 08 February, 2005Observations27 Comments

It's not terribly uncommon for persons of either gender to possess a third nipple. What is uncommon is having the extraneous areola appear in the expected location. Often they are to be found on knees, thighs or shoulder-blades. While neither Natalie (yes, she's finally updated) nor I can claim ownership of a vestigial nipple, we spent an interesting hour pondering the worst possible locations to have one. On an eyelid Crown of a molar Attached to the cochlea On someone else's chest Under a fingernail Hanging from an eyelash On your voice On your dog On the soul On the…

Where the beautiful people are

By Davezilla 07 February, 2005Observations30 Comments

Back in the 1980s when it seemed every major city had a goth club called "Asylum" or "Sanctuary", there was an upsurge in singles bars for yuppies. Most had catchy, but annoying, two-syllable names like, "Scruples" or "Mixers" or "Wombats". Recently, specialty clubs for special needs groups have popped up around the world. I imagine they'd have names like â€¦ Distractions: For singles with A.D.D. Twitches: The meeting place for singles with Tourette Syndrome. Wheezer's: Where well-to-do asthmatics mingle. Poseurs: The place for aging new wavers. Stumpy's: Serving the single amputee since 1982. Trekkies! for the permanently single. Doody's: A…

We need to talkâ€¦

By Davezilla 05 February, 2005Observations19 Comments

Your Top Searches: There were 18 searches for the week ending 01/29/05 for Davezilla at http://www.davezilla.com/.Here are the top phrases searched: 12 for "davezillas penis" 1 for "goalie" 1 for "blogger pussys" 1 for "rey mysterio" 1 for "dave s penis on cam" 1 for "davezilla s penis" 1 for "hockey" 1 for "hockey icons" 1 for "panty or panties" 1 for "thong" Is there something I need to know?viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side…

Complete this sentence #17

By Davezilla 04 February, 2005Observations55 Comments

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We assumed â€¦

By Davezilla 03 February, 2005Uncategorized28 Comments

I guess I should have used a capital four. I showed this error message to my coworker Jim. He told me to imagine if Yahoo extended the map's "assumption" feature to their search: We assumed you meant transvestites, not transmissions. We assumed you meant was, not was. We assumed you meant Paris, France, not Paris Hilton. We assumed you meant bikinis, not briefs. We assumed you meant progress, not Congress. We assumed you meant rudimentary, not Rudy Giuliani. We assumed you meant software, not underwear. We assumed you meant prawn, not pr0n. We assumed you meant Spanish Fly, not spinach.…

Fun with Anna

By Davezilla 02 February, 2005Uncategorized22 Comments

Anna is the animated help desk at IKEA's Web site. She had some interesting answers to my questions. Click on the image for the whole story.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for…

Winners of the Blonde Speed Dressing Championship

By Davezilla 01 February, 2005Uncategorized28 Comments

Who’s wearing my genes?

By Davezilla 31 January, 2005Observations31 Comments

Each year I become somewhat introspective on my birthday (rather than merely depressed), as I reflect on my life and what I have or have not become. This year it became apparent to me that the following genes remain absent or dormant in my genetic make up: The gene that enjoys waking up prior to 10am The gene that thinks pop stars have something relevant to say The gene that allows one to wear spandex pants with fur-lined Mukluks The gene that let one appreciate interpretive dance, tumbling routines and Disney on Ice The gene that drives one to own…