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Top Ten Migraine Hallucinations

By Davezilla 14 April, 2005Observations20 Comments

That Halogen high-beams have been stapled to my eyelids An Ivory Woodpecker has mistaken the left side of my head for an Elm Tree The pads on my cats' feet have been fitted with cinder blocks The sun is now one metre from my window That all food is made of cardboard, spiced with dryer lint The neighbour's vacuum cleaner is louder than front row at a Motorhead concert Tiger Woods is using my forehead for driving practice That Comcast's Internet service has gone out againâ€”no wait, that one's real That someone is using a cheese grater on my cerebral…

Ugh

By Davezilla 13 April, 2005Observations48 Comments

Terrible migraine. Can't see. May post later â€¦ :dead:viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free viagra sample what is better viagra or levitra…

Note to Self: 5,290

By Davezilla 12 April, 2005Observations22 Comments

Next time you drop buttered popcorn in a glass of Perrier by mistake, retrieve it within one second or pour the glass out. Blecch. Five second rule does not apply here.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic…

Caption Time #48

By Davezilla 11 April, 2005Caption Time38 Comments

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Little-known facts

By Davezilla 10 April, 2005Observations21 Comments

Pugs may appear to be friendly dogs, but at night they eat babies and mints. Benjamin Franklin invented the sigh. Ronald McDonald was based on a old Scottish faery tale. In the story, Ruach McDougall, was a sabre-toothed ogre who grilled ferrets and served them between two pieces of crusty bread. Prior to the Council of Nicea, new popes were chosen over a game of rock, paper scissors. Misery loves Company, but Company recently got out of a bad relationship and isn't ready for anything serious. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra…

Turtleneck

By Davezilla 09 April, 2005Uncategorized11 Comments

Spotted one of the most unusual freaks this evening. A tall man, chinless and withered. Think Galapagos Tortoise in trendy evening wear. Not that trendy was any indication of taste.Turtle Boy was probably 170 years old, judging by the remaining tufts of white hair, which encirlced his stone-shaped head like a Sumo wrestler's Mawashi. I've never seen anyone wear such an unlikely combination. A black suede blazer (two sizes too large), crushed velvet, purple cargo pants (10" too long) and endurance running shoes.Top all that off with glasses that magnified his pupils till they resembled hockey pucks and you have…

Complete this sentence #21

By Davezilla 08 April, 2005Observations42 Comments

Losing your Internet cable connection is worse than being ________ by a _______ .viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free viagra sample what…

I do the Ben Stiller site

By Davezilla 07 April, 2005Observations22 Comments

I met someone at the coffeehouse today who claimed to know me. HIM: "You do the websites, right buddy?" ME: "Yes, I do." HIM: "Yeah, I heard about you. You do that funny site with the monkeys and clown-devil things." ME: "Nnnnnnoooooo. That doesn't sound like anything I've done." HIM: "Don't you that Ben Stiller site?" ME: "Davezilla." HIM: "OK. I gotcha now. Yeah, you had the calendar. Didn't they pay you, and now I bet you retire, huh?" ME: "Well it wasn't that much money." HIM: "I tell ya what. I can sell your calendar door to door, see.…

Worst roommate ever

By Davezilla 06 April, 2005Observations45 Comments

Write about Worst roommate ever here. This man is quite simply the worst roommate in history. His requirements for a roommate are so severe and exacting, that he makes the perfect target for nonstop torture. Read his requirements, then after beating your head into a wall, return here to leave more torture ideas. I would host cock fighting matches in the garage. Long spur style, of course. I would have unprotected sex with homeless, French whores suffering from Tourettes Syndrome on his Bowflex. This would be after he catches me scrubbing the toilet with his toothbrush. I would buy the…

Caption Time #47

By Davezilla 05 April, 2005Caption Time26 Comments

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Perhaps I’m reading too much into thisâ€¦

By Davezilla 04 April, 2005Observations27 Comments

Or maybe I just needed coffe, but I really thought my shaving gel looked like a Genie this morning.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves…

Ahem. Nice logo.

By Davezilla 03 April, 2005Uncategorized16 Comments