Overheard: Frozen Samosa Edition

06 May, 2005Posted inObservations23 Comments
Natalie: i went crazy at Whole Foods today Natalie: i didn't eat lunch til about 3 Me: you went crazy? Me: Did you smash things and scream in your underwear in the frozen food aisle? Natalie: i brought back about 4 different salads and a veggie samosa Natalie: in my underwearviagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase…

Ten Best Reasons to Get a Cold

05 May, 2005Posted inBad Ideas, Observations18 Comments
Colds are disgusting. Your eyes look and feel sand-blasted, your nose has lost five layers of epidermis and you are left with the lung capacity of an asthmatic sparrow, but look on the bright side: Your boss will encourage you to go home early. You can keep ill-tempered coworkers at bay with a mere sneeze. No one's going to sneak in your cubicle and use your phone. If you come in looking disheveled, women will take pity on you, rather than scoff at you. Other employees will do the heavy lifting for you. You get to catch up on all…

Overheard: Naked Twister Edition

04 May, 2005Posted inObservations12 Comments
At least, I think it was naked Twister. Heard this through the apartment wall, despite popped ears and stuffed sinuses (I have loud neighbors). Male voice: Right foot … Blue! Female voice: Your ass is fucking hairy, dude! Female voice: [loud squeal] Female voice: Dammit! [squeal] Male voice: Left hand … [mumble] Female voice: You can't use food! Female voice: Very cute, Mike. Give me my pants back. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects…

Ask for Miranda

03 May, 2005Posted inObservations12 Comments
I was sick today and the only thing that made me laugh were these Mail Order Chickens.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free…

Note to Self: 5,318

30 April, 2005Posted inObservations17 Comments
Despite all the men's washrooms being on the left side of the building at work, the next time you enter one and notice a curious lack of urinals, back out quickly.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic…

Complete this sentence #23

29 April, 2005Posted inObservations30 Comments
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Overheard: NPR Edition

28 April, 2005Posted inObservations22 Comments
Freak No. 1: I heared about the China folks making all the t-shirts in China for the US of A. Freak No. 2: What? Freak No. 1: I said I was listening to NPR. They had this thing about China. They make all the t-shirts for th' US of A now. All of em. Freak No. 2: For real? Freak No. 1: Oh yeah. This guy says, he says, "My wife work at the Wal-Marts and we is looking through the t-shirts tags and they all says Made in China, Made in Mexico. Oh, and this one British guy makes…

Things I would not want to find in Wendy’s chili

27 April, 2005Posted inObservations28 Comments
A webcam Weapons of Mass Destruction A tie-dyed poodle The Holy Grail Fermat's Theorum The Secret of Nimh Jimmy Hoffa's finger Rosie O'Donell's Flickr Account A rectal thermometer Wendy Thanks to Larfus for suggesting the topic.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic…

Note to Self: 5,310

26 April, 2005Posted inObservations16 Comments
Try to remember that "a little bit" and "extra" are relative terms and some people have different ideas about what they entail. At Subway, "a little bit" of mayonnaise apparently means "1.2 quarts" and "extra" jalapeños means "enough capsacin to choke a Mexican short order cook".viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without…

Stumpy McSpeedybottom

23 April, 2005Posted inObservations15 Comments
If I had a pet snail, I would feed him Chiclets. His name would be Stumpy McSpeedybottom. Unless it was a girl snail. Then I would name her Ben. He would wake me up every day at 6am for his morning crawl. We would read the newspaper together and I would wipe the slime from page 3A. In our retirement days, I would stare at the sun until my eyes had blue dots in front of them and his eye stalks dried out. Then we'd share one final ice cream and I'd pour salt on him and watch him quiver…

Complete this sentence #22

22 April, 2005Posted inObservations41 Comments
Pope Ratzinger's critics have dubbed him, "God's ________."viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free viagra sample what is better viagra or levitra discount…