Category: Observations

Identifying more arsehole drivers in front of you. Texters: True story: Tuesday, I had to swerve to avoid a woman who almost ran me off the road. She was completely unaware of this. She was too busy texting on her cell phone. She was a large woman, and used her ponderous breasts to steer. Her…

Identifying the arsehole driver in front of you. The Midwestern Bookworm: The Bookworm loves to read. Right now, she is in the fast lane in front of you, finishing the last chapter of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which is spread open across her steering wheel. Her emotional reactions to her reading material greatly…

Over the past few years, I’ve noticed a change in the patter of waitstaff. I only pay attention to these things because I was once a waiter, myself. Time was, a server would come by, a minute or so into the meal and ask, “How is everything?” A concise sentence. Nowadays, servers come when you…

I just received a spam entitled, “Make You’re Penis the Size of You’re Entire Body!!!!!” Ignoring the atrocious punctuation errors, this message is troubling on several levels. First off, I’m six-foot three. Having a penis of equal length could pose some serious tactical issues. How would I store it when not in use? I could…

Michelle Madigan, for thinking she is smarter than the hackers at DEFCON. Sorry, Michelle. These are the brightest minds in the United States. You aren’t. I should mention that I have been a member of DEFCON for years; I even did the logo for DEFCON Groups, so if I take schadenfreude over this, you will…

Maven’s recent post about the homeless man jerking off in public reminded me of a similar experience I had. No, I wasn’t a homeless, black man. Way back in the day, when Detroit had an awesome indie scene, I went to see Echo and the Bunnymen at St. Andrews Hall. Typical of most old concert…

You’ve been drinking beer (legally) for 22 years now. It’s about time you learned to drink beer from a bottle without backing up the carbonation and causing a beer fountain on the table. Seriously. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra…

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As the jogger passes you on the sidewalk, tear a strip of cloth quickly and see if they stop to check their pants for rips. Hide in the bushes of a quiet street with an airhorn. Hold up a score card as they pass you with a very low number. Act disappointed. Run out in…

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