Category: Observations
-
What I Learned from Prescription Drug Ads
Single folk don’t take prescription drugs. Only straight, married couples do. The people who take prescription drugs own Golden Retrievers. They wear matching sweaters tied around their necks and take long walks down the beach. They have unlimited resources for traveling to exotic locales. Only white and black people take prescription drugs. Asians, Hispanics, Pacific…
Written by
-
The Hate Cake
My mother made me a Hate Cake today. I don’t know what I did to upset her so, but it must have been bad. This was the meanest Hate Cake I’d ever seen. And I’ve seen plenty in my time. In place of flour, she’d substituted plaster dust. The cake had three wicked layers—each more…
Written by
-
-
-
DIY Hints You Should Probably Ignore
Need to liven up the office Xmas party? Photoshop your coworkers’ heads into pictures from questionable websites and you’ve got a slideshow everyone will be talking about! Use Strontium-90 to soothe a colicky baby. Old Ethernet cables make great leashes for the elderly! Use “Swiffer” sheets to quickly erase your sibling’s homework. Worried about what…
Written by
-
Grammar: You’re doing it wrong
Really not sure what disturbs me more: The phrase, the lack of apostrophes or the letter spacing.
Written by
-
-
What’s Your Deepest Fear?
Out with it. What’s your deepest, darkest fear? Turns out, I have quite a few. Here’s my top ten: Given a life sentence in a prison populated by mimes and clowns. Rosie O’Donnell runs for president in 2016. She takes Sarah Palin as VP in a surprise move. They call it the She Party, win…
Written by
-
What I Learned About Italians from 10 Days in Naples
Their local motto is, “If you can drive in Napoli, you can drive in Hell.” At the outdoor cafés, pigeons are smarter than waiters. The pizza really is 10 times better. Pulcinella is either good luck, bad luck, an evil clown or a sex god, depending on whom you ask. Napoli is full of budding…
Written by
-
-
-
Slowest drivers on the road
IMO, slowest drivers on the road own: PT Cruiser Chrysler Pacifica Ford Flex Discuss.
Written by
You must be logged in to post a comment.