I just realized that telling my dogs and cats, "I'm going out; be good" is translated in their minds as, "I'll be gone long enough for you to hide the…
Over the years, I've realized that my musical taste boils down to one element that's proven remarkably accurate: If the singer or musician's name is "Kenny", there is a 99%…
Jodi Arias supporters Twilight fans. Fuck all of you. Vampires don't sparkle. People who change their profile photo to reflect the latest meme, social cause or trend with no clue…
LIZZ: "That's it, honey." [SITTING UP, ROCKING IN BED] ME: "What are you doing?" LIZZ: "I just… I have to stay awake and…to make sure the baby doesn't fall asleep…
Single folk don't take prescription drugs. Only straight, married couples do. The people who take prescription drugs own Golden Retrievers. They wear matching sweaters tied around their necks and take…
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