- Need to liven up the office Xmas party? Photoshop your coworkers’ heads into pictures from questionable websites and you’ve got a slideshow everyone will be talking about!
- Use Strontium-90 to soothe a colicky baby.
- Old Ethernet cables make great leashes for the elderly!
- Use “Swiffer” sheets to quickly erase your sibling’s homework.
- Worried about what your kids are texting? Change all the phone numbers of their besties in their phone’s contact list to the local police’s number. Hilarity ensues.
- Rub butter on a sunburned, old man to roast him faster.
- Use a roll of tin foil to silence a nosy neighbor.
- Never a cop when you need one? Aim a laser pointer in his eye to quickly get his attention.
- Can’t afford the high cost of a sitter or au pair? Duct tape and a heavy chair will work wonders.
- Need to clear an aisle in a store quickly? Spray WD-40 (or spray cooking oil) on the floor and count to three.
This reminds me very much of the Top Tips section of that paragon of low-brow British humour, Viz.
http://viz.co.uk/toptips.php
Never read it. Thanks for the heads up, Lung!