Need to liven up the office Xmas party? Photoshop your coworkers’ heads into pictures from questionable websites and you’ve got a slideshow everyone will be talking about!
Use Strontium-90 to soothe a colicky baby.
Old Ethernet cables make great leashes for the elderly!
Use “Swiffer” sheets to quickly erase your sibling’s homework.
Worried about what your kids are texting? Change all the phone numbers of their besties in their phone’s contact list to the local police’s number. Hilarity ensues.
Rub butter on a sunburned, old man to roast him faster.
Use a roll of tin foil to silence a nosy neighbor.
Never a cop when you need one? Aim a laser pointer in his eye to quickly get his attention.
Can’t afford the high cost of a sitter or au pair? Duct tape and a heavy chair will work wonders.
Need to clear an aisle in a store quickly? Spray WD-40 (or spray cooking oil) on the floor and count to three.
Lung the Younger
This reminds me very much of the Top Tips section of that paragon of low-brow British humour, Viz.
http://viz.co.uk/toptips.php
Davezilla
Never read it. Thanks for the heads up, Lung!