Year: 2006

  • More people we dislike #13: Long queue edition

    The earth mother who holds up the entire queue by taking 18 minutes to arrange her carry-on in the overhead compartment, and then complains that the flight is late taking off The prat who holds up the line at the coffeehouse by demanding a 142° latte. As if they can tell. The senior citizen who…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Open letter to Continental Airlines

    Dear Continental, First of all let me thank you for all the exciting new terms I learned this week, while traveling on your aircraft. News to me: I thought “departure” meant “the time the plane will leave”. I now know that it means, “the time we decide to announce that your plane will be two…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • What is it?

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  • Good advice

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  • But do they accept credit cheese?

    Some travel hints (in Engrish) from around the world: We will now be serving snakes. [Singapore Airlines] Upon arrival at Kimpo and Kimahie Airport, please Wear your Clothes. [Korean Steel Mill] Toilet Gents (Ladies Also) [Sign in Bangkok] AEROFLOT: Introducing wide boiled aircraft for your comfort. [Ad for a Soviet Airline] Akita to Okinawa. Non-Stop…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Fashion Tips for the Clueless

    For the Gents (written by Davezilla) Experimental facial hair will warm the jowls and frighten the fair sex. “Prison-bitch” pants went the way of the Dodo. Take note. There is a fine line between looking ruggedly unshaven and looking like you’ve spent a weekend bender with Gary Busey. “Manpris” (capris for men) can only be…

    Written by

    Davezilla

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  • How to speak in Programmer

    When they say: “The SMTP mail server may be acting erratically today.” They really mean: “Turn me down for a date, will you? See if you get email anymore.” When they say: “Is that really a good user experience?” They really mean: “You’re cutting into my World of Warcraft time.” When they say: “You haven’t…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Possible new jobs for Donald Rumsfeld

    President of the Liars Club Hidden Mine Finder New Orleans Levee Inspector Internet’s First Spam Editor Toilet Paper Roll Holder for the Iraqi government Anal Toy Tester Barbara Bush’s newest lawn ornament Stunt double for Carrot Top Bullshit Taster What jobs do you think he should apply for? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic…

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    Davezilla

  • Our next line of defense…

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  • What I hate when I have a migraine

    Anyone operating a lawnmower, chainsaw, leafblower, snowblower, weed wacker; anything with a two stroke engine Anyone playing music I dislike Anyone with a brightly lit office Anyone walking loudly on the floor above me Anyone with too much cologne Anyone with garlicky food Anything that barks Anything that sings Anyone that is too perky Anyone…

    Written by

    Davezilla