2006 | Page 11 of 30 | Davezilla.com

Caption Time #131

By Davezilla 21 August, 2006Caption Time32 Comments

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Complete this Sentence:

By Davezilla 20 August, 2006Observations29 Comments

"The geese were so huge, they could barely fit in the ___________"

I’m thankful thatâ€¦

By Davezilla 19 August, 2006Observations19 Comments

â€¦trees have bark, but even more thankful that trees cannot bark â€¦penises don't make a "boing" sound upon becoming erect â€¦my teeth have never caught fire â€¦organized religions aren't contagious â€¦"you are what you eat" isn't literal â€¦there's no time limit on finishing a book before it explodes â€¦I'm not neighbors with Britney Spears â€¦Mudskippers are not the dominant species on earth â€¦Jules Verne was wrong What are you thankful for? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women…

Car loses 3 hit points

By Davezilla 18 August, 2006Uncategorized25 Comments

On Notice!

By Davezilla 17 August, 2006Observations28 Comments

Caption Time #130

By Davezilla 16 August, 2006Caption Time20 Comments

Notes to Self: No. 6,014-6,017

By Davezilla 15 August, 2006Observations21 Comments

Do not accidentally click on the iDVD button while looking at photos in iPhoto. All 4,000+ photos will try to load themselves into a movie clip at the same time, and that's just wrong. No matter how tempting, do not tickle cat when her rear claws are positioned above your scrotum. Seriously. If it looks like it will topple off the shelf onto your head, it will. For the love of God, stop eating white cheese before bedtime. It makes you dream your girlfriend is turning into a pink goblin or a yodeling finger monkey.

Gangs of Mew York

By Davezilla 14 August, 2006Observations14 Comments

I was walking my cat today (yes, she heels like a dog), and noticed that outside, she gets the same lost look that foreigners get in an airport. Granted, she's been an indoor cat for 16 years so this is a new thing to her. I started wondering if other cats notice her dazed expression, too. Do outdoor cats look at indoor cats and see an easy mark the way con artists do? "Hey, look at the fresh meat. Heeeeeey, chica." "You lost, pretty girl? C'mere baby. I help you find home." "Bitch, I will f*ck your shit up. Where…

Fill in the blanks #2

By Davezilla 13 August, 2006Observations22 Comments

Elaborate Restaurant Hoax

By Davezilla 12 August, 2006Observations24 Comments

The Setup: Will require three couples. Ideally, two of the couples will look similar and one couple will look extremely different from the other two (extreme height or weight difference, skin color, accent, etc.). All couples should carry cellphones with ability to text each other. The couples that look similar should dress alike too, if possible. Couple No. 1 (C1) gets a table at the restaurant. Couple No. 2 (C2) can sit at the bar or waste time in the bathroom. Couple No. 3 (C3) should wait outside for instructions. Couple No. 1 orders drinks. One of them texts C3…

Quite a workout!

By Davezilla 11 August, 2006Uncategorized32 Comments

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20 things to do by age 40

By Davezilla 10 August, 2006Observations31 Comments

Swallow a bug while bicycling Swallow a bug as part of a foreign dish Become embarrassed by a coworker's singing Wedgie a close friend, possibly of the opposite sex Poke a badger with a spoon Take off your clothes in front of the wrong person Go an entire day without noticing that your: Shirt is inside out Pants have an unidentifiable stain on it Collar has lipstick on it Socks don't match Face is only partially shaved Instant message a complete stranger with government conspiracy theories Let a penguin loose at work Order fast food from a drive thru, while…