2005 | Page 3 of 30 | Davezilla.com

Zzzzzzzz…

By Davezilla 07 December, 2005Announcements23 Comments

Just in from a long flight. Today's post will be late. :dead:

Complete this Sentence, #28

By Davezilla 06 December, 2005Observations49 Comments

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How to photograph a cat

By Davezilla 05 December, 2005Observations31 Comments

Place cat on sunny spot near a window Focus camera Move cat back onto sunny spot near window Focus camera Look for cat under sofa Call for cat Get out can opener Put cat back on sunny spot Focus camera Marvel at beauty of cat Praise cat for sitting so still Take photo Look at preview window Notice cat is conspicuously absent from photo Look for cat Put double-sided tape on sunny spot by window Drop cat on tape Focus camera Take photo Marvel at photo of cat clawing your camera in two viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic…

Wow, just wow

By Davezilla 04 December, 2005Uncategorized26 Comments

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Why I hate local news

By Davezilla 03 December, 2005Observations14 Comments

Brock: "On today's headlines, why opening your front door could be hazardous to your health." Michelle: "Also on today's headlines, you may be harboring a menace in your refrigerator and not even know it. Hear about dangers to your children that are lurking in your kitchen." Brock: "But first, a look at this morning's waking-up weather report." Skip: "Looks like we're in for some wild weather. I'll tell you all about it, right after we hear about this morning's commute." Deb: "Area freeways are looking congested. I'll tell you which ones, right after the break." [ commercial break ] Brock:…

The Manly Way to Iron Clothes

By Davezilla 02 December, 2005Uncategorized26 Comments

Caption Time #81

By Davezilla 01 December, 2005Caption Time35 Comments

Spotting a Bad Date

By Davezilla 30 November, 2005Observations46 Comments

She counts the number of syllables you say in each sentence and informs you. She sits down to watch the Disney Channel with your parents. In the nude. She believes Jack Chick tracts to be very real and accurate. She wears sweatsocks under her nylons. Her armpit hair is corn-rowed. Your friends tell you that you couldn't have just asked her on a date. She died in a car accident 10 years today. She brings a clipboard of criteria you must meet. Dogs and small children naturally flee when she approaches. She lives in a pond. What bad dates can…

More people we can safely dislike #4

By Davezilla 29 November, 2005Observations113 Comments

Ex-Marines who constantly say, "Hey. That's how we did it in the Corps." The guy who feels compelled to one-up every story anyone tells The masses who annually forget how to brake after the first 1/2" of snow falls. Mainly Southerners, whoâ€”bless their heartsâ€”can't drive decently any time of the year People who brag at work about how much they give to charity but tell the homeless they can't spare a quarter People who actually believe in dragons Stores that charge more for their gift boxes than for the gifts in them People responsible for recipes like Spam cupcakes Friends…

Mario unleashed

By Davezilla 28 November, 2005Uncategorized24 Comments

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Marilyn Manson’s Grandmother

By Davezilla 27 November, 2005Uncategorized19 Comments

Today, I saw this. She had apparently just made a stop in Noir Leather (local S&M boutique) for a miniskirt and some knee-high leather fuckme boots. This would normally be kind of hot except that she was well over 50 and had doughy jowls that hung like turkey wattles. The 80s padded shoulders, topped with a goose-down vest just sort of made the entire thing â€¦ well, laughable. If Carson Kressley had seen her, he would have imploded instantly. My guess is she's either going through a mid-life crisis (yes, women can get them, too), or is actually Marilyn Manson's…

Caption Time #80

By Davezilla 26 November, 2005Caption Time33 Comments