2005 | Page 16 of 30 | Davezilla.com

I want an Oompa-Loompa NOW!

By Davezilla 03 July, 2005Uncategorized12 Comments

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Note to Self, No. 5,618

By Davezilla 02 July, 2005Observations18 Comments

No matter how careful you are, it is impossible to walk three blocks to your car with five coffees, wearing white jeans and not spill all over them at some point.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic…

Caption Time No. 60

By Davezilla 01 July, 2005Caption Time16 Comments

PML 1.0 Specification

By Davezilla 30 June, 2005Observations20 Comments

WARNING: Extreme geek humor ahead PML (Porno Markup Language), a pornographic computer language specification proposed by DL Byron is nearly ready for release by the W3C. The specifications are as follows: Latest version: http://www.w3.org/TR/porno-spec/ Previous version: http://www.w3.org/TR/2005/TIT-porno-spec-20050428/ Editor: DL Byron Contributors: Davezilla W3C Jerking Draft 30 June 2005 PML is a general-porno markup language designed for representing the sex industry for a wide range of perversions across the World Wide Web. To this end it does not attempt to be all things to all people, supplying every possible kinky jerkoff idiom, but to supply a generally useful set of naughty…

Top ten ways to annoy your coworkers

By Davezilla 29 June, 2005Observations14 Comments

Send company layoff emails from their desk while they are away at lunch. Eat other coworkers' lunch. Frame your coworker by leaving a trail of crumbs to their desk and put the leftovers in their wastepaper basket. Piranhas in the water cooler. Apply for a job with the competition under your coworker's name and have all correspondence sent to the front desk. Change their password while they are on vacation. Make no attempt to memorize the new one. Use up all the ink in their pens and put back in the drawer or pencil holder exactly where they were. Add…

Stop it. Just stop.

By Davezilla 27 June, 2005Observations17 Comments

I have determined that "What the heckers?" is the single worst euphemism I have ever heard.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free viagra…

The truth behind FUPA

By Davezilla 27 June, 2005Observations31 Comments

FUPA Acronym for "Fat Upper Pubic Area"; common misinterpretations include "Fat Upper Pussy Area," "Fat Upper Penile Area" and "Farting Under Pelicans Asses." Also, often confused with FUBU, an overpriced brand of clothes that suburban caucasian adolescent males wear to impress suburban caucasian females who associate the clothing with large genitalia. From the Urban Dictionary OK, we've all seen FUPA before. It's not a new phenomenon. What is new to me is seeing skinny women with FUPA. How is that possible? I suspect, and follow me on this, that FUPA may not be a ring of fat, after all. I…

Authentic French Flavour

By Davezilla 26 June, 2005Uncategorized11 Comments

Pickup lines that suck

By Davezilla 25 June, 2005Observations18 Comments

"I suppose a lot of men stare at your tits, huh?" "You like cartoon rabbits, too? I like dressing up as one in bed." "That's a really sexy bra. I stole one just like that from my neighbor's clothesline." "Lemme have a few more beers first so you look pretty." "That's a hot dress. Makes you kind of look like a hooker. Wait, you're not a cop, are you?" "You remind of someone. My frat brother, Gunther. Man, could he put away the beer!" "I really wish they'd rerun BJ and the Bear. I could be watching that while you…

Rest in peace, St. Augustine

By Davezilla 22 June, 2005Announcements54 Comments

[1998-2005] This weekend while I was in Toronto, my cats managed to open the screen door and get onto the balcony. When I came home, the youngest one was nowhere to be found. Tuesday night I found him huddled and shaking under a bush. He died Wednesday evening from internal injuries (he fell two stories onto some rocks). I am taking a few days off. Please understand.

Unlikely pizza toppings

By Davezilla 22 June, 2005Observations20 Comments

Sea Monkeys Papsmearoni The milk of human kindness Cactus marmalade* Contraceptive jelly The fruit of my loins* Peanut brittle Italian sausage, made from real Italians Gummi Bears* The apple of my eye *With help from the lovely Natalieviagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying…

Noted!

By Davezilla 21 June, 2005Uncategorized16 Comments