Worst things to find in your Xmas stocking

Comments

74 responses to “Worst things to find in your Xmas stocking”

1. 

   19 December, 2006

   TheFaramir

   Severed feet. Last season’s, of course.
2. 

   19 December, 2006

   Minnie

   Anything but hairy cat soaps.
3. 

   19 December, 2006

   Klesko Fan

   Any type of hat, ’cause I don’t like………..stocking caps
4. 

   19 December, 2006

   Spud

   Soap on a rope
   Lint
   Used lint
   Ear wax
   Somebody else’s ear wax
   Used tea bag
   Boiled lollies
5. 

   19 December, 2006

   Lung the Younger

   A ladder.
6. 

   19 December, 2006

   Spud

   oohh la la…
7. 

   19 December, 2006

   Anna

   6-4 twenty nine yr black/white guy
8. 

   19 December, 2006

   Stevie C

   White Moosepants
9. 

   19 December, 2006

   Bigwavdave

   1. Termites
   2. A Horny Manatee
   3. A Signature Gormet Blender
   4. A Dead Ferret
   5. Triumph Om
10. 

    19 December, 2006

    Bigwavdave

    6. A copy of “If I Did It”

    Note to Nikki: I believe “birdy” is a cattle egret during breeding season.
11. 

    19 December, 2006

    adognamedgromit

    My don’t list:
    Something someone had since the 1970’s
    Your own gift from last year.
    8 track tapes (cool … mannn)
    Things only bought at garage sales in order to be cheap.
    Porcelain Elvis bust with matching candelabras.
    Home made art made with bottle caps. 😕
12. 

    19 December, 2006

    junkman

    i think bigwavdave said it. i do not want a horny manatee in my stocking.
    p.s. dave who are you trying to kid? rumsfeld doesn’t have a heart.
13. 

    19 December, 2006

    adognamedgromit

    An unnamed person once told me that Fruitcake if buried properly would be edible for years.
    It is an old way of making a preserve.
    (and the person was being honest)

    To which I replied “Thanks but I will pass on the fruit cake.”
14. 

    19 December, 2006

    wastedforlife

    you guys are stupid!!!!!!!!!!!! 😡
15. 

    19 December, 2006

    beyonduplication

    toes.
16. 

    19 December, 2006

    Lung the Younger

    (deep breath) OK here goes:

    – Your draft papers to Iraq.
    – The glove that OJ really used.
    – The results of your recent ex-girlfriend’s pregnancy test.
    – Leftover used Kleenex from when you were 14-years old.
    – Yet another friggin’ portal to Narnia.
    – Thousands of dollars worth of Enron shares that you misplaced in 1999.
17. 

    19 December, 2006

    sledge

    used vibrator,grandma’s sex toys,and a dead partrige in a pear tree
18. 

    19 December, 2006

    mikeB

    [Comment ID #81827 will be quoted here]

    School’s out for Christmas vacation, huh? 🙄
19. 

    19 December, 2006

    abbi

    yet another orange!

    no more please! i dont eat them! 👿
20. 

    19 December, 2006

    beyonduplication

    oatmeal muffins
    santa’s toe-jam
    copenhagen
21. 

    19 December, 2006

    Sher

    Knit toilet paper cozy with a knit poodle head on top.
22. 

    19 December, 2006

    Sher

    Blended moonpie! :puke:
23. 

    19 December, 2006

    pablo

    Nude pictures of your Uncle Bob
    Your period
    The Hamster you got last year
    Fuzzy hahdcuffs from Granny
    All of your credit card bills
    Gift certificate from Bruce’s Gay Video Palace
    Coupon for a free fill up and lube, but it is on the back of Uncle Bob’s picture
    Fertalizer
    Used kitty litter
    Home waxing kit with special do it yourself Brazillian video
    Pictures of all of the women who won’t sleep with you
24. 

    19 December, 2006

    pablo

    Nude photos of your Uncle Bob
    Used Kitty litter
    Your period
    Coupon for a free fill up and lube (on the back of Uncle Bob’s picture
    Home waxing kit with special do it yourself Brazillian video
    Gift certificate to Bruce’s Gay Video store
    Fuzzy handcuffs from Granny
    The hampster you got last year
    Pictures of all of the women who won’t sleep with you
25. 

    19 December, 2006

    Minnie

    [Comment ID #81827 will be quoted here]

    A wise man once said the ratio of the overdose of exclamation marks is directly proportionate to the general scarcity of a person’s intelligence quotient.

    Did you get that, or was that wisdom “wasted” on you? 😀
26. 

    19 December, 2006

    scamper

    a used condom
    onions from taco bell
    coal
27. 

    19 December, 2006

    Bigwavdave

    [Comment ID #81855 will be quoted here]

    Well put Minnie.

    I like the new avatar – a bit mysterious. One wonders what was on your mind.
28. 

    19 December, 2006

    Spud

    Oink oink, wanna boink pig…
29. 

    19 December, 2006

    Zilla the Younger

    Well, I get all sorts o’ cool stuff in mine, cause I just a “Stocking of Holding” in World of Warcraft, and yeah, WASTEDFORLIFE said it, you guys are stupid! And now I’m going to my Mom’s basement to play more World of Warcraft and you can’t come!!!
    👿
30. 

    19 December, 2006

    tatertot

    a list of what you guys don’t want….
31. 

    19 December, 2006

    mikeme

    Toe jam or somebody’s foot fungus.
32. 

    19 December, 2006

    Knkangaroo

    [Comment ID #81827 will be quoted here]
    Besides the name being obvious, I will not have a battle of wits with an unarmed person
33. 

    19 December, 2006

    Knkangaroo

    A hole in the toe of the stocking
34. 

    19 December, 2006

    Spud

    [Comment ID #81867 will be quoted here]

    Ha!

    Unarmed combat… 😀
35. 

    19 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    A dead cockroach, let alone a dead cock. :limp:
36. 

    19 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    A dead cockroach. Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp:
37. 

    19 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    A dead cockroach. :wtf: Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp: 😛
38. 

    19 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    A dead cockroach. :wtf:

    Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp: 😛
39. 

    19 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    a dead cockroach! :wtf: Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp: 😛
40. 

    19 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    a dead cockroach! :wtf:
    Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp:
41. 

    19 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    a dead cockroach! :wtf:
    Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp:
42. 

    19 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    A dead cockroach! :wtf:
    Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp:
43. 

    19 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    A dead cockroach! :wtf: Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp: 😛
44. 

    19 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    A dead cockroach! :wtf: Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp: 😛
45. 

    19 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    A dead cockroach! :wtf: Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp: 😛
46. 

    19 December, 2006

    Driver

    1} Fish heads
    2} Sleep crust from anyones eyes
    3} Naked pictures of myself I was unaware were ever taken

    Personal note , I like fruit cake .
47. 

    19 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    A dead cockroach! :wtf: Or a dead cock. :limp:
48. 

    19 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    A dead cockroach! :wtf: Or a dead cock. :limp: 😛
49. 

    19 December, 2006

    dumass

    Coal
    a baby
    a pubic hair
    a half-empty can of mountain dew
    the phone bill
    a video of santa givin it to mrs clause in the ass
    splooge
    and heaven forbid you actually get something good.
50. 

    19 December, 2006

    chainstay

    A dirty diaper. No wait, a dirty diaper with a baby in it.
    No, No a dirty diaper with a baby that has scoliosis in it .
    OK, how about a dirty diaper with a baby that has scoliosis and is
    eating rumfeld’s still beating heart. Whoa, a bit to far.
    The absolute worst… wastedforlife’s shriveled genitalia.
51. 

    19 December, 2006

    Bjorn Freeh

    1. Fruitcake with nuts
    2. Chuck Norris’ beard
    3. Sinatra and KC and the Sunshine Band, The Duets
    4. Gerbil Worming
    5. Humor, The Complete History by slimweistedforlife

    All I got.
52. 

    20 December, 2006

    Cynical Villain

    1. the best of John Tesh CD
    2. A copy of GiGi
    3. Kevin Federline’s Music Career
    4. A Bucket of Spam
    5. Ron Jermey’s Body Hair
    :puke:
53. 

    20 December, 2006

    pablo

    [Comment ID #81875 will be quoted here]

    Somebody fell for the list not updating more than me! :dead:
54. 

    20 December, 2006

    Minnie

    [Comment ID #81858 will be quoted here]

    Thanks, Bigwavdave. The mysterious look/expression was intentional. It’s what my photographer wanted to see. 🙂
55. 

    20 December, 2006

    Selkielass

    Video games I have no interest in playing.
56. 

    20 December, 2006

    Evil Aunt Ann

    [Comment ID #81897 will be quoted here]

    Thank goodness #’s 1 and 3 will be tiny…that leaves plenty of room for Ron’s body hair! :puke:
57. 

    20 December, 2006

    Nikki

    [Comment ID #81823 will be quoted here]

    ! Thanks. :java:
58. 

    20 December, 2006

    Flash Gordon

    What the hell is it with the DEAD COCKROACH? and the dead :limp:?
    🙄 :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf:
59. 

    20 December, 2006

    Mandy

    [Comment ID #81885 will be quoted here]

    One more round! Everybody sing! 😀
60. 

    20 December, 2006

    Davezilla

    [Comment ID #81909 will be quoted here]

    The comments always update, but if they see spammy words like cock, the system will hold the comment till I get off my ass and approve it. Same for posting links. Sorry, but them’s the rules… :dead:
61. 

    20 December, 2006

    Night Queen

    Sorry Dave! The computer glitched big time on me. Acting like it wasn’t taking my comment. 😡
62. 

    20 December, 2006

    adognamedgromit

    So swearwords in Japanese are excluded then?
63. 

    20 December, 2006

    adognamedgromit

    all 性交 right !!!
64. 

    20 December, 2006

    adognamedgromit

    Actualy I am kidding… I don’t swear very much. 😆
65. 

    20 December, 2006

    cbatdux

    [Comment ID #81965 will be quoted here]

    99 flacid short cocks on the wall….
    99 cocks on the wall
    take one down,
66. 

    21 December, 2006

    Davezilla

    [Comment ID #81974 will be quoted here]

    It wasn’t a glitch. It was a naughty word alert. 😈
67. 

    21 December, 2006

    transamman

    chuck norris!
68. 

    22 December, 2006

    deliqueena

    ooooh! I know! half of Dave’s still-dripping severed ………………………………………..:geek:Head!
    what did YOU think I was gonna say? :twisted:(no offence Dave!) 😛
69. 

    22 December, 2006

    deliqueena

    sonething severed and dripping…… :dead:
70. 

    22 December, 2006

    deliqueena

    whoops sorry
71. 

    22 December, 2006

    deliqueena

    性交 😛
72. 

    22 December, 2006

    adognamedgromit

    Deliqueena あなたのストッキングにそれを入れることができない。 😛 😆
73. 

    22 December, 2006

    adognamedgromit

    私は性交を意味する。
74. 

    03 January, 2007

    Jessica

    My neighbor Kaylyn :dead: :dead: :dead: 👿