Worst things to find in your Xmas stocking

1. TheFaramir

   19 December, 2006, 12:38 am

   Severed feet. Last season’s, of course.

2. Minnie

   19 December, 2006, 1:18 am

   Anything but hairy cat soaps.

3. Klesko Fan

   19 December, 2006, 2:06 am

   Any type of hat, ’cause I don’t like………..stocking caps

4. Spud

   19 December, 2006, 3:01 am

   Soap on a rope
   Lint
   Used lint
   Ear wax
   Somebody else’s ear wax
   Used tea bag
   Boiled lollies

5. Lung the Younger

   19 December, 2006, 4:02 am

   A ladder.

6. Spud

   19 December, 2006, 5:15 am

   oohh la la…

7. Anna

   19 December, 2006, 6:01 am

   6-4 twenty nine yr black/white guy

8. Stevie C

   19 December, 2006, 6:08 am

   White Moosepants

9. Bigwavdave

   19 December, 2006, 8:15 am

   1. Termites
   2. A Horny Manatee
   3. A Signature Gormet Blender
   4. A Dead Ferret
   5. Triumph Om

10. Bigwavdave

    19 December, 2006, 8:46 am

    6. A copy of “If I Did It”

    Note to Nikki: I believe “birdy” is a cattle egret during breeding season.

11. adognamedgromit

    19 December, 2006, 9:05 am

    My don’t list:
    Something someone had since the 1970’s
    Your own gift from last year.
    8 track tapes (cool … mannn)
    Things only bought at garage sales in order to be cheap.
    Porcelain Elvis bust with matching candelabras.
    Home made art made with bottle caps. 😕

12. junkman

    19 December, 2006, 9:07 am

    i think bigwavdave said it. i do not want a horny manatee in my stocking.
    p.s. dave who are you trying to kid? rumsfeld doesn’t have a heart.

13. adognamedgromit

    19 December, 2006, 9:10 am

    An unnamed person once told me that Fruitcake if buried properly would be edible for years.
    It is an old way of making a preserve.
    (and the person was being honest)

    To which I replied “Thanks but I will pass on the fruit cake.”

14. wastedforlife

    19 December, 2006, 9:11 am

    you guys are stupid!!!!!!!!!!!! 😡

15. beyonduplication

    19 December, 2006, 9:18 am

    toes.

16. Lung the Younger

    19 December, 2006, 9:57 am

    (deep breath) OK here goes:

    – Your draft papers to Iraq.
    – The glove that OJ really used.
    – The results of your recent ex-girlfriend’s pregnancy test.
    – Leftover used Kleenex from when you were 14-years old.
    – Yet another friggin’ portal to Narnia.
    – Thousands of dollars worth of Enron shares that you misplaced in 1999.

17. sledge

    19 December, 2006, 10:11 am

    used vibrator,grandma’s sex toys,and a dead partrige in a pear tree

18. mikeB

    19 December, 2006, 10:13 am

    [Comment ID #81827 will be quoted here]

    School’s out for Christmas vacation, huh? 🙄

19. abbi

    19 December, 2006, 10:25 am

    yet another orange!

    no more please! i dont eat them! 👿

20. beyonduplication

    19 December, 2006, 11:36 am

    oatmeal muffins
    santa’s toe-jam
    copenhagen

21. Sher

    19 December, 2006, 12:15 pm

    Knit toilet paper cozy with a knit poodle head on top.

22. Sher

    19 December, 2006, 12:19 pm

    Blended moonpie! :puke:

23. pablo

    19 December, 2006, 12:24 pm

    Nude pictures of your Uncle Bob
    Your period
    The Hamster you got last year
    Fuzzy hahdcuffs from Granny
    All of your credit card bills
    Gift certificate from Bruce’s Gay Video Palace
    Coupon for a free fill up and lube, but it is on the back of Uncle Bob’s picture
    Fertalizer
    Used kitty litter
    Home waxing kit with special do it yourself Brazillian video
    Pictures of all of the women who won’t sleep with you

24. pablo

    19 December, 2006, 12:35 pm

    Nude photos of your Uncle Bob
    Used Kitty litter
    Your period
    Coupon for a free fill up and lube (on the back of Uncle Bob’s picture
    Home waxing kit with special do it yourself Brazillian video
    Gift certificate to Bruce’s Gay Video store
    Fuzzy handcuffs from Granny
    The hampster you got last year
    Pictures of all of the women who won’t sleep with you

25. Minnie

    19 December, 2006, 3:44 pm

    [Comment ID #81827 will be quoted here]

    A wise man once said the ratio of the overdose of exclamation marks is directly proportionate to the general scarcity of a person’s intelligence quotient.

    Did you get that, or was that wisdom “wasted” on you? 😀

26. scamper

    19 December, 2006, 3:50 pm

    a used condom
    onions from taco bell
    coal

27. Bigwavdave

    19 December, 2006, 4:08 pm

    [Comment ID #81855 will be quoted here]

    Well put Minnie.

    I like the new avatar – a bit mysterious. One wonders what was on your mind.

28. Spud

    19 December, 2006, 4:46 pm

    Oink oink, wanna boink pig…

29. Zilla the Younger

    19 December, 2006, 4:58 pm

    Well, I get all sorts o’ cool stuff in mine, cause I just a “Stocking of Holding” in World of Warcraft, and yeah, WASTEDFORLIFE said it, you guys are stupid! And now I’m going to my Mom’s basement to play more World of Warcraft and you can’t come!!!
    👿

30. tatertot

    19 December, 2006, 5:09 pm

    a list of what you guys don’t want….

31. mikeme

    19 December, 2006, 6:22 pm

    Toe jam or somebody’s foot fungus.

32. Knkangaroo

    19 December, 2006, 6:54 pm

    [Comment ID #81827 will be quoted here]
    Besides the name being obvious, I will not have a battle of wits with an unarmed person

33. Knkangaroo

    19 December, 2006, 6:57 pm

    A hole in the toe of the stocking

34. Spud

    19 December, 2006, 7:46 pm

    [Comment ID #81867 will be quoted here]

    Ha!

    Unarmed combat… 😀

35. Night Queen

    19 December, 2006, 7:49 pm

    A dead cockroach, let alone a dead cock. :limp:

36. Night Queen

    19 December, 2006, 7:51 pm

    A dead cockroach. Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp:

37. Night Queen

    19 December, 2006, 7:53 pm

    A dead cockroach. :wtf: Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp: 😛

38. Night Queen

    19 December, 2006, 7:55 pm

    A dead cockroach. :wtf:

    Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp: 😛

39. Night Queen

    19 December, 2006, 7:57 pm

    a dead cockroach! :wtf: Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp: 😛

40. Night Queen

    19 December, 2006, 7:59 pm

    a dead cockroach! :wtf:
    Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp:

41. Night Queen

    19 December, 2006, 7:59 pm

    a dead cockroach! :wtf:
    Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp:

42. Night Queen

    19 December, 2006, 8:00 pm

    A dead cockroach! :wtf:
    Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp:

43. Night Queen

    19 December, 2006, 8:02 pm

    A dead cockroach! :wtf: Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp: 😛

44. Night Queen

    19 December, 2006, 8:03 pm

    A dead cockroach! :wtf: Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp: 😛

45. Night Queen

    19 December, 2006, 8:04 pm

    A dead cockroach! :wtf: Or a dead cock for that matter. :limp: 😛

46. Driver

    19 December, 2006, 8:12 pm

    1} Fish heads
    2} Sleep crust from anyones eyes
    3} Naked pictures of myself I was unaware were ever taken

    Personal note , I like fruit cake .

47. Night Queen

    19 December, 2006, 8:22 pm

    A dead cockroach! :wtf: Or a dead cock. :limp:

48. Night Queen

    19 December, 2006, 8:23 pm

    A dead cockroach! :wtf: Or a dead cock. :limp: 😛

49. dumass

    19 December, 2006, 8:55 pm

    Coal
    a baby
    a pubic hair
    a half-empty can of mountain dew
    the phone bill
    a video of santa givin it to mrs clause in the ass
    splooge
    and heaven forbid you actually get something good.

50. chainstay

    19 December, 2006, 9:35 pm

    A dirty diaper. No wait, a dirty diaper with a baby in it.
    No, No a dirty diaper with a baby that has scoliosis in it .
    OK, how about a dirty diaper with a baby that has scoliosis and is
    eating rumfeld’s still beating heart. Whoa, a bit to far.
    The absolute worst… wastedforlife’s shriveled genitalia.

51. Bjorn Freeh

    19 December, 2006, 10:20 pm

    1. Fruitcake with nuts
    2. Chuck Norris’ beard
    3. Sinatra and KC and the Sunshine Band, The Duets
    4. Gerbil Worming
    5. Humor, The Complete History by slimweistedforlife

    All I got.

52. Cynical Villain

    20 December, 2006, 12:16 am

    1. the best of John Tesh CD
    2. A copy of GiGi
    3. Kevin Federline’s Music Career
    4. A Bucket of Spam
    5. Ron Jermey’s Body Hair
    :puke:

53. pablo

    20 December, 2006, 1:50 am

    [Comment ID #81875 will be quoted here]

    Somebody fell for the list not updating more than me! :dead:

54. Minnie

    20 December, 2006, 9:17 am

    [Comment ID #81858 will be quoted here]

    Thanks, Bigwavdave. The mysterious look/expression was intentional. It’s what my photographer wanted to see. 🙂

55. Selkielass

    20 December, 2006, 9:56 am

    Video games I have no interest in playing.

56. Evil Aunt Ann

    20 December, 2006, 11:03 am

    [Comment ID #81897 will be quoted here]

    Thank goodness #’s 1 and 3 will be tiny…that leaves plenty of room for Ron’s body hair! :puke:

57. Nikki

    20 December, 2006, 3:39 pm

    [Comment ID #81823 will be quoted here]

    ! Thanks. :java:

58. Flash Gordon

    20 December, 2006, 6:06 pm

    What the hell is it with the DEAD COCKROACH? and the dead :limp:?
    🙄 :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf:

59. Mandy

    20 December, 2006, 7:36 pm

    [Comment ID #81885 will be quoted here]

    One more round! Everybody sing! 😀

60. Davezilla

    20 December, 2006, 7:38 pm

    [Comment ID #81909 will be quoted here]

    The comments always update, but if they see spammy words like cock, the system will hold the comment till I get off my ass and approve it. Same for posting links. Sorry, but them’s the rules… :dead:

61. Night Queen

    20 December, 2006, 9:12 pm

    Sorry Dave! The computer glitched big time on me. Acting like it wasn’t taking my comment. 😡

62. adognamedgromit

    20 December, 2006, 9:42 pm

    So swearwords in Japanese are excluded then?

63. adognamedgromit

    20 December, 2006, 9:45 pm

    all 性交 right !!!

64. adognamedgromit

    20 December, 2006, 10:00 pm

    Actualy I am kidding… I don’t swear very much. 😆

65. cbatdux

    20 December, 2006, 11:44 pm

    [Comment ID #81965 will be quoted here]

    99 flacid short cocks on the wall….
    99 cocks on the wall
    take one down,

66. Davezilla

    21 December, 2006, 12:08 am

    [Comment ID #81974 will be quoted here]

    It wasn’t a glitch. It was a naughty word alert. 😈

67. transamman

    21 December, 2006, 9:28 am

    chuck norris!

68. deliqueena

    22 December, 2006, 4:58 am

    ooooh! I know! half of Dave’s still-dripping severed ………………………………………..:geek:Head!
    what did YOU think I was gonna say? :twisted:(no offence Dave!) 😛

69. deliqueena

    22 December, 2006, 5:00 am

    sonething severed and dripping…… :dead:

70. deliqueena

    22 December, 2006, 5:01 am

    whoops sorry

71. deliqueena

    22 December, 2006, 5:04 am

    性交 😛

72. adognamedgromit

    22 December, 2006, 4:34 pm

    Deliqueena あなたのストッキングにそれを入れることができない。 😛 😆

73. adognamedgromit

    22 December, 2006, 4:44 pm

    私は性交を意味する。

74. Jessica

    03 January, 2007, 9:28 am

    My neighbor Kaylyn :dead: :dead: :dead: 👿

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