Two Shakes of a Lamb’s Tail
How come when someone says, "I'll be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail," it always takes about 45 minutes? Just how big is a lamb's tail?
The Best Children’s Song Ever. By Me.
I have absolutely no memory of any children's song lyrics. I don't think I ever knew (or cared) what they were when I was a child and now that I am a father, I am resorting to making up lyrics to sing to my girl. I hope I don't screw her up too badly with my version of Hush, Little Baby: Hush little baby, don't smack a nerd, Papa's gonna buy you an odd-shaped bird. If that odd-shaped bird don't sing, Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring (I remembered this part!) If that diamond ring don't shine, Papa's gonna…
Is gravity increasing? Or is the photographer shrinking?
Seems to happen every time women cram together for a photo.
What I Learned from Prescription Drug Ads
Single folk don't take prescription drugs. Only straight, married couples do. The people who take prescription drugs own Golden Retrievers. They wear matching sweaters tied around their necks and take long walks down the beach. They have unlimited resources for traveling to exotic locales. Only white and black people take prescription drugs. Asians, Hispanics, Pacific Islanders, etc. apparently don't need prescription drugs. Side effects are generally worse than the conditions being treated. Anti-depression drugs cause depression and lead to thoughts of suicide. Wait. Wut? All of this leads me to postulate that if you're white, married and retired, avoid wearing…
Grammar: You’re doing it wrong
Really not sure what disturbs me more: The phrase, the lack of apostrophes or the letter spacing.
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