When they say:
“The SMTP mail server may be acting erratically today.”
They really mean:
“Turn me down for a date, will you? See if you get email anymore.”
When they say:
“Is that really a good user experience?”
They really mean:
“You’re cutting into my World of Warcraft time.”
When they say:
“You haven’t provided the proper documentation.”
They really mean:
“I’ve ruined the project. I plan on blaming you. Somehow.”
When they say:
“That’s not a feasible timeframe.”
They really mean:
“You’re cutting into my World of Warcraft time.”
When they say:
“I like your t-shirt.”
They really mean:
“ZOMG Boobies!”
When they say:
“We can’t have that finished. The server will need to be reset tonight.”
They really mean:
“It’s my D&D night, Elven whore!”
When they say:
“I see you’ve written to the CEO about the project taking too long.”
They really mean:
“And I’ve infected your machine with a Trojan Horse that will make you responsible for bringing down the company’s network. Hope your resume is up to date.”
When they say:
“I’d be happy to help.”
They really mean:
“I found a naked picture of you and will blackmail you later.”
When they say:
“Help you build your website? Depends. What kind of website is it?”
They really mean:
“Does it have boobies?”
When they say:
“I’ve passed all the Microsoft Certification programs.”
They really mean:
“I’ve never seen a naked lady in person.”
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