Lacklustre Video

As you may have read yesterday, Blockbuster Inc. announced it is eliminating late fees on all its video tapes, DVDs and video games as of January 1st, 2005. However, customers will be given a one-week grace period to return the product. After that grace period ends, Blockbuster will automatically sell them the product, minus the rental fee, and send Mormons to their doorstep. Customers not wishing to purchase the movie can return the product within 30 days for a credit, less an annoying restocking fee, to be collected by some rather unsavory Scientologist Sumo wrestlers. Customers disputing the restocking fee…

Note to Self: 5,104

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My day so far #2

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I was under it. While attempting to extract myself from the boxspring's grasp I was attacked by a band of voracious dust bunnies, that were obviously high on goofers. No quarter was I shown by the merciless ways of the marauding dust bunnies. They removed my upper limbs and replaced them with prosthetic arms fashioned from bed lint, cat hair and not a few lost socks. Needless to say, scraping frost off the windshield proved somewhat difficult. Arriving at work on time, I was unable to find my beloved cubicle.…

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Top 20 Ways to Annoy Carolers

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Overheard: Cute Niece Edition

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Today’s horoscope

Aries: An embarassing day. Right in the middle of your presentation to the board of directors, you realize you forgot to wear underwear. And a skirt. Taurus: Damn. No fruit pies left in the vending machine. Gemini: Mercury retrograde goes aginst you as you accidentally book all three of your girlfriends for a date at the same restaurant, on the same night, at the same time. Cancer: Still can't find … remote control … going into … convulsions … Leo: Afternoon spent gazing at your reflection. Or was that all morning? Does it matter? Better spend the evening in front…

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