How to photograph a cat

1. family jules

   05 December, 2005, 12:21 am

   Step Number 784: when cat is finally asleep and in perfect pose, snap photo
   Step Number 785: notice in preview window picture of cat with her back to you, hunched into an unidentifiable lump
   Step Number 786: smack dogs for laughing at you behind your back

2. Marcus

   05 December, 2005, 1:43 am

   Step 1. Give cat some valium.
   Step 2. Wait for cat to get stupid.
   Step 3. Take as many pictures as you want.
   Step 4. Wait for cat to wake up.
   Step 5. Watch cat snarl at you for a few days.
   Step 6. Cat goes to police and files charges against you.:twisted::evil:

3. hippychick

   05 December, 2005, 2:13 am

   The guy in the video definitely needs a job. Way too much time on his hands! 🙄 :dead:

4. Kami

   05 December, 2005, 3:54 am

   #20 sounds more like the result of #17 😛
   Cute.

   The video clearly states that it is pointless and I can honestly admit to watching that whole video, just not proudly. His fingers are sick and he stinks. :hurl:

5. Kunal Goel

   05 December, 2005, 4:25 am

   Step one: Kill the cat.
   Step two: ??????
   Step three: Excellent Post!

6. Lung the Younger

   05 December, 2005, 4:36 am

   21. Trade cat for sloth.

7. Anna

   05 December, 2005, 5:54 am

   You lucky :wang:. It ususally involves more steps an lots more blood at my place.

8. mikeB

   05 December, 2005, 6:25 am

   Dave has a lucky penis? :wtf:

9. Spud

   05 December, 2005, 7:01 am

   Hard act to follow mikeB

   Q – has anyone, anywhere, anytime trained a cat to do something on cue?

   our cat is a rather bored, regally amused creature who may deign to grace us with her prescence, or not, as the case maybe.

   🙁

10. Davezilla

    05 December, 2005, 7:13 am

    Spud, my cat is trained for everything except photography. She can (on command) sit, heel, lay down, etc. Her best trick is turning on the sink when I leave for work. I don’t mind that she prefers to drink from the faucet, but she leaves the water running all day.

11. leigon of discord

    05 December, 2005, 7:16 am

    Oh sure, the video seems silly, but its important, very very important.

12. Spud

    05 December, 2005, 7:20 am

    Ha!, a cat turning on a tap let alone do tricks, that I’d like to see.

    Grace would be most amused.

    how did you train your cat to do things?

    😕

13. Davezilla

    05 December, 2005, 7:26 am

    Simple. Throw out the following myths:
    1) Cats cannot be trained
    2) Cats do not want to learn
    3) Cats have their own sense of rules
    I did not begin training Jade until she was five. Unlike dogs, cats can be trained at any age and learn as many tricks as you want to teach them.

14. Tami Jo

    05 December, 2005, 7:58 am

    Cat.

15. mitch smith

    05 December, 2005, 8:28 am

    :twisted:I’m thinking a largem catnip, laced with Quaaludes and then some soft music and candlelight and then…oh wait that’s how I get my girl to love me. Sorry I misread the quote.

16. cody

    05 December, 2005, 8:53 am

    my fifth grade teacher had a cat that would go to the bathroom in the toilet and then flush. it’s fine and dandy and a nice trick but it doesn’t wash it’s paws with soap after. just licks clean. eww. cat pee smells.

17. rust

    05 December, 2005, 9:11 am

    It wasn’t the cat that was reacting, it was its daemonic spirit…

    Bri-i-i-i-ing the ca-a-a-a-an o-o-o-opener-r-r-r-

    Meow!

18. jeffro

    05 December, 2005, 11:13 am

    I don’t get cat people. Best case scenario, you have the world’s smartest cat… it still shits in your house.

19. coley

    05 December, 2005, 11:50 am

    Looking at puictures…
    how come nobody told me our fearless leader is a cutie??? 😀

20. coley

    05 December, 2005, 11:51 am

    😳 Too early, can’t spell (I meant pictures).

21. chainstay

    05 December, 2005, 12:12 pm

    my cat asks to be let out to potty other than that she is an obstinate b****

22. Nina

    05 December, 2005, 6:08 pm

    My aunt’s cat once called 911. It was quite a scene. Cops all over the place…the cat was meowing into the phone and they thought it was a woman or a baby crying. It was quite funny afterwards. 😀

23. Esther

    05 December, 2005, 6:11 pm

    My imaginary dog and cat know how to drive, change the A/C filter, cook some tasty fried chicken, and have the ability to teleport. It’s pretty damn amazing.

24. Mechelle

    05 December, 2005, 6:38 pm

    step no. 2376 set up video camera (focus on sunny spot).
    step no. 2377 leave the room.
    step no. 2378 watch 6 hours of digital video in which said cat never once sits on sill of said window.
    step no. 2379 get a dog.
    step no. 2380 take many pictures of said dog who only wants to please, wondering all the while why your cat just wouldn’t love you.

25. Sarah

    05 December, 2005, 10:20 pm

    “…best case scenario, you have the world’s smartest cat…it still shits in your house.”

    aah yes, but does your dog shit in a litter box? nope…the dog shits all over the yard 🙄

26. kattonic

    05 December, 2005, 10:33 pm

    Um, Jeffro, don’t you shit in your house? Oh no, are you my neighbor? The one that got arrested for crapping in his front yard?:roll:

27. jeffro

    06 December, 2005, 5:17 pm

    If my dog can crap in the yard, why can’t I?

28. bo

    07 December, 2005, 8:26 am

    😛 what a Catastrophe!

29. jeffro

    07 December, 2005, 9:57 am

    Hey dave,
    hows this for a post. Rash generalizations about cat & dog people.
    All dog people__________.
    All cat people__________.

30. Paul

    07 December, 2005, 3:49 pm

    Yeah, that’s about right. Cats don’t sit still very long do they?

31. Daniel

    11 December, 2005, 2:25 am

    I have a cat that I swear has to be schitzo. In the middle of the night, his activity of choice is to run full speed, head first into the wall, collect himself and do it again. That’s a good picture-he looks high afterwards. As long as the vet says that he is fine, I’m gonna let him half his fun, I just wished he’d be more quiet, maybe a different wall somewhere else in the house.

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