Category: Observations

Gentlemen, This week sees the arrest of yet another Japanese pervert; serial lingerie thief Shigeo Kodama. Kodama, a 54 year-old construction worker, stole nearly 4,000 pairs of panties in only six years. I only have a few questions, as one who has never visited Japan. What is up with Japanese men and panties? Granted, as…

”Are the burgers locally grown? I only eat organic.” ”My water broke.” ”Your mother’s in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I’ll see that she gets it.” ”Two fifty-six for the meal? OK, how much for a lapdance?” ”Is this the place where the rats where found in the tacos? I don’t…

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My cat recently turned 17. That age marks a special time in a cat’s life when she ascends from a Demanding Diva to a Hirsute Hobgoblin. True, she is still deceptively beautiful, in the same way many terrible vipers are. It is her mannerisms that have transcended during this special year. Socks I used to…

Some interesting road trips you can make in the United States. Suggested by misterarthur. From Intercourse, Pennsylvania to Climax, Michigan From Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina to Hell, Michigan From Spread Eagle, Wisconsin to Hooker, Arkansas From Cut-Off, Louisiana to Blueballs, Pennsylvania From Cold Water, Mississippi to Hot Water, Mississippi From Toad Suck, Arkansas to…

Barista: “She has like, an accent or something. She speaks in British.” Woman on the phone near me: “I heard that if you break vitamins in half, most of the amino acids escape.” Young girl on phone: “If I shave my head, will the hair ever grow back? No, I’m being serious. It will? Really?”…

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Dear Visor Engineers: I am writing a letter to express my disappointment with your products. I understand that as automotive engineers go, your job is not a glamorous one. Indeed, yours is on the bottom rung of the engineering ladder, right below the windshield (windscreen) wiper engineers. That said, I think you could do better.…

Frog and Toad and Mortal Enemies Harriet the Spy in Guantanamo Bay Curious George throws his feces The 500 Diseases of Bartholomew Cubbins Where the Girls Gone Wild Things Are Horton Hears a Glock James and the Giant Bitch The Princess and the Period Everybody Poops. Just Not at School. Which ones did I miss?…

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