Observations

The next time some astronomer swears that you live in the ideal location for viewing a lunar eclipse at 5 AM, shoot him or her, then go back to bed.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra…

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Canada: Bacon-flavoured beer Cuba: Black-bean Mojitos United States: Fast food-flavoured light beer Australia: Vegemite-flavoured beer England: Curry-flavored Pims Ireland: No need to raise it any further Sweden: Lutefisk vodka Nigeria: Yam shots Mexico: Pepper-flavoured tequila. Oh wait. They have that. Which ones did I miss? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without…

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Over the years, I have seen several marginally funny lists of why men are like dogs and women are like cats. I propose the opposite. Men are more like cats and women are more like dogs. I offer my reasons below. Please add any I missed (or disagree). Men are like cats because: When you need them, they suddenly go deaf to their name being called Both clean their feet by kicking dirt in every direction They have no reservations about climbing on furniture, shelves, walls… Both like resting on women's breasts, hips Getting licked by one is often a…

I never win anything. My brother is the lucky one in the family. He got the Irish good looks and luck. He wins at football and casinos. I have to work for a living. So I was pleasantly surprised to hear that I had won an iPod! I'd been beta testing for Mister Wong, a very cool bookmarking site that has until recently, only been available in Europe. I was a beta tester for the English version which was recently released. When the testing period ended, I won an 8 GB iPod Nano, a Mister Wong polo shirt and a…

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The probability of spilling stainable liquid on yourself increases with the expense of the article of clothing Rainfall will be greatest when you are 1/2 way walking home. It will abruptly stop upon reaching home The shorter and looser a woman's skirt is, the greater the chance for hurricane strength winds that day The later you are for work, the greater the probability of getting stuck behind a senior citizen driving 14 mph The probability of your shoes getting vomited on by a pet increases if you've just cleaned them viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does…

James B (who created this week's poll) frightened me with a true story about tonsil stones. I have to admit, it was pretty gross. Look up pictures of them on Google Images if you doubt me. I simply had to get even. I told him about a German fellow who was recently killed and eaten by his pet spiders. I shit you not (If you are arachnophobic, I strongly suggest you do not follow that link). I can't think of a worse way to go, except maybe: Forced to listen to Celine Dion nonstop for a week Forced to have…

Our high school typing instructor was hot. She had a body like Bettie Page and wore ridiculously tight skirts and stiletto heels. Her one odd trait was her nails. As a typing instructor, she had to keep her nails trimmed, but she was all about long painted nails. She compromised by growing one nail to a length that would impress an eagle. It was curved; a red scimitar springing from the end of her hand. During every class, she used an overhead projector with transparencies that she had prepared. She would make a point of bending a bit in her…

Identifying more arsehole drivers in front of you. Texters: True story: Tuesday, I had to swerve to avoid a woman who almost ran me off the road. She was completely unaware of this. She was too busy texting on her cell phone. She was a large woman, and used her ponderous breasts to steer. Her left hand was busy cradling her phone, while her right hand gingerly poked at the keys. Her fingernails were the same length as her fingers, curved like talons, making her typing take attention away from other distractions like say, watching the road. The Braker: StevieC…

Identifying the arsehole driver in front of you. The Midwestern Bookworm: The Bookworm loves to read. Right now, she is in the fast lane in front of you, finishing the last chapter of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which is spread open across her steering wheel. Her emotional reactions to her reading material greatly affect her ability to commit to a single lane. Should you be unfortunate enough to resemble the antagonist in her story, you will be promptly run off the road. The North American Talker: Far more common on major roads are the tribe known as North…