How I spent my Friday

08 December, 2007Posted inObservations28 Comments
Every year, the Bell's Brewery hosts Eccentric Day, a day long beer-tasting fest. Drinking begins promptly at 8:00 AM and ends really damn late (4 AM?). I can't drink that long. Anyway, a stipulation of entering is dressing in costume. The group I went with came dressed as Friars. Cause you know, monks invented beer. UPDATE: Pictures for Eccentric Day on Flickr. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra…

Dream bandit

04 December, 2007Posted inObservations29 Comments
Ever see movies where the hero goes through some wild adventure, wakes up and realizes it was all a dream, but miraculously has an object in their hand from the dream? This kept happening to me. I kept waking up with objects on my chest. This morning it was a shiny metal knob which I identified as belonging to the bathroom drain. My kitten, who fetches like a dog, knocked it loose and brought it to me. She's the culprit.

Complete this Sentence, #40

30 November, 2007Posted inObservations25 Comments
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Celebrity books that never saw print

29 November, 2007Posted inObservations41 Comments
Britney Spears Guide to Succesful Parenting Gene Simmons Golden Book of Celibacy Jokes to tell your grandmother, by Gilbert Godfrey Michael Jackon’s Makeup Secrets Rosie O’Donnell’s Art of Being a Lady An Illustrated History of Modesty by Paris Hilton Johnny Cash’s Guide to a More Colorful You Michael Vick’s Big Book of Pets Better English in 30 Days with Flavor Flav Shane McGowan’s Secrets to a Beautiful Smile Your turn. What books did I miss?viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online…

Email chain that won’t die

26 November, 2007Posted inObservations31 Comments
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Lamest Super-powers to have

25 November, 2007Posted inObservations35 Comments
The ability to remove the fizz from all carbonated beverages in a two mile radius The ability to destroy two evils that have plagued mankind for ages: soap scum and dust bunnies A duo with the ability to turn themselves into a tasteful pair of Pottery Barn book ends The ability to warp time such that all watches and clocks end up set to the wrong time zone The ability to lower cholesterol to a healtheir, more manageable level The ability to shred cheese with a single touch The ability to make any piece toast stale on command The ability…

Complete this sentence, #39

22 November, 2007Posted inObservations36 Comments
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Risky things to do on Thanksgiving Day

21 November, 2007Posted inObservations33 Comments
Stuff the turkey with packing peanuts Schedule the cable TV to be disconnected during the 3rd quarter of the game Replace your grandparents’ decaf with double espresso Melt double salt licorice in the mashed potatoes. You know, for kids! If asked to bring pie and whipped cream, show up naked under a trenchcoat with several cans of whipped cream. Pretend you thought it was a “different type of party.” viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side…

What I’ve learned from cats

17 November, 2007Posted inObservations43 Comments
New shoes are the natural repository for cats to vomit into Your current reading material is the most comfortable place to take a nap There is no cupboard door made that cannot be pried open with a paw The ideal surface for removing clingy cat litter from paws is a laptop keyboard If it can be clawed apart, it will be. If it was meant to be clawed apart, it will be ignored. Catnip is exciting sure, but houseplants, now that’s a real rush. Some of the scultpures in the litterbox Zen garden are deemed too important to be buried…

Getting rid of unwanted holiday guests

15 November, 2007Posted inObservations36 Comments
When the holidays come around, we are once again called upon to perform a duty which I feel should be made illegal as soon as possible: entertaining relatives. As that is not likely to happen in my lifetime, it is incumbent upon us to take matters in our own hands. Here are some solutions I dreamt up while sick in bed this week. I plan on implementing each one this season. John Cakes: Unlike Johnny Cakes which are in fact, edible and quite good, the John Cake is in fact, a highly toxic urinal cake, decked and trimmed into a…

Caption Time #207

14 November, 2007Posted inCaption Time, Observations57 Comments
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OK, OK. You can upload pics of your butt.

12 November, 2007Posted inObservations30 Comments
I've received numerous comments and emails requesting the ability for you lovely readers to upload photos. That's coming, believe me. In the meantime, I started a fan page on Facebook for Fans of Davezilla, the Zilla Girls and Zilla Guys. Feel free to upload all manner of personal pics there until I get this site rehauled.