Worst “Secret Santa” gifts

Longtime reader Marcus recently told me of the worst “Secret Santa” gift he ever received:

”I once received a black beaded woman’s handbag. I guess they were thinking a
woman would get the gift.”

I have never had much luck one way or the other in those. I’ve only been in three. The first time I participated in one, the spending limit was US$25, which I generously exceeded. In return, I got a pack of gum. In the other two, I was somehow forgotten and went home empty-handed.

What’s the worst Secret Santa gift you’ve ever received?

  1. Link of the Day: How many five year-olds could you take in a fight? [I scored 26]
  2. Video of the Day: I hope you like pain!, link via Lizz (link fixed)
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  1. 1) an nfl coffee mug
    2) a handful of christian tracts (and not the cool jack chick ones)
    3) naval jewelry (my navel is not pierced)

  2. I had a whole comment…. a good one…. but it wouldn’t post! Fuckin’ figures! :limp:

  3. Flash Gordon

    1. a can of chocolate covered grasshoppers
    2. a tube of Preparation H
    3. toenail clippings {saved up all year)

    Mandy: I’m available to “Pierce it”. :wang: :wang: :wang: :thong: 👿

  4. :wtf: We’ll try again. Hubby got edible undies as a gag gift from one party. No one told him not to wear them for very long and they melted into the pubes. Talk about an unintentional waxing! :limp:

  5. A tin with an actual piece of coal :wtf:
    Talk about testing your faith in Santa!

  6. Fleetwood

    [Comment ID #220234 will be quoted here]

    You are so hot..what did it take about 15 seconds to become stickey?

  7. Toothpicks. And not a single one has been used yet. 🙄

  8. blaster gas

    I had a wonderful experience as a Secret Santa. I gave the person what I thought were decent gifts. (Chocolate candy, coffee mug among other things.) When we revealed who we were, my gift receiver said to me..”oh, you’re the one!” grabbed my last gift and walked away.

  9. judy

    A crocheted toilet paper cozy in the shape of a bunny.

  10. [Comment ID #220245 will be quoted here]

    It is tough to get them what they relly need for $25 or less.

    The costs for electro-shock therapy or a loboyomy have gotten to the point where everyone from the office would need to chip in.

  11. I threatened to bring a pair of day passes to the local nudist camp. The brass cranes I brought were admired, but about half the people wanted the day passes, and the other half were petrified they would get the passes. I think I got a coffee mug. I don’t drink coffee.

    Last year I got a book, ‘Letters from a Nut’. I am 55. I can’t read print that small anymore.

  12. Spud

    A cowboy suit.

    Nobody say a word, just be very quiet and move on, there’s nothing to see here.

  13. Bjorn Freeh

    I’m still trying to picture a “black beaded woman”… sounds intriguing.

  14. chainstay

    UM, spud? did anyone get..say an indian suit a motercycle cop suit a construction worker suit and a biker suit?

  15. Drusky

    [Comment ID #220234 will be quoted here]
    Nothing better than a hot woman wearing steak and beer flavored edible undies… 😛 😈

    Worst gift? Hmmmm. That’d be the re-gifted fruitcake… Yup, my Santa had forgotten to remove the gift label from the previous year that was on the bottom of the cake. Made it kinda easy to guess who he was… 😳

  16. [Comment ID #220254 will be quoted here]

    Seriously? I’ve always been a strong supporter of the “Save a horse, ride a cowboy” campaign. 😈

  17. [Comment ID #220257 will be quoted here]

    LOL! Good catch!

  18. Marcus

    Thanks everyone I feel better about my getting such a crappy gift, but of all the gifts I would like to have received the cowboy suit is the best one. But with my luck it woould have been a cowgirl suit. 😛

  19. Drusky

    [Comment ID #220283 will be quoted here]
    Bareback or side-saddle? 😛

  20. Secret Santa presents are supposed to be a bit wretched – that’s the fun of it all – without the masking of disappointment that you have to engineer when it’s a present from a relative.

    But I’ll never forget finding a pint of milk in mine.

    The kind of present that lasts and lasts. In fact, I think it was the only Christmas present I’ve ever received that couldn’t even reach Christmas Day.

  21. graffix729

    Discounted Halloween Candy

  22. bboyzetan

    An egg. 😕

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