Category: Observations

  • 10 Things Women Never Say

    Do we have to get a puppy? I mean, look at that adorable tarantula! I just nuked a bitch. Your wedding dress is so fuckin’ badass. Fuckin’-a right, I’m robbin’ a bank! The dishes can wait. You need a lap dance. Cobra hunting? Be still, my heart! You don’t have all I can eat. You…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • 10 Words Men Never Use

    Merriment Cherish Giddy Scrumptious Sparkly Vag Toodles Precious Pocketbook Slacks What words would you add to this list?

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Everything I Learned About Homes, I Learned from HGTV

    If you don’t have an island in your kitchen, your home will never sell. Buyers want an island. If you have the wrong kind of island in your kitchen, you’ll ruin your home No one will want to buy it. Laminate flooring is a high quality, inexpensive material to give you the look of real…

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    Davezilla

  • What I Learned from Movies: Car Chases

    What have you learned from car chases in movies?

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    Davezilla

  • Bigfoot’s Diary

    2 Dec 2009 10 AM: Spent the morning leaving deliberate tracks in the snow near that stupid hunter’s cabin. Made sure to leave a clump of rat hair on fence nearby. Took a long dump on his front porch, but decided to scoop it up and smoosh it in his mailbox instead. PUNK’D! Thought it…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Annual Thanksgiving Day List

    Longtime readers know that every year I write a list on Thanksgiving of what I am thankful for. This year is no exception. Please let everyone know what you are thankful for in the comments. I am thankful that… …Sarah Palin is back to being America’s prettiest moose hunter. …cats cannot manipulate Plutonium. …unlike killer…

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    Davezilla

  • Collective Nouns for Web 2.0

    Back in the Middle Ages, knowing what collective noun was applied to a group of animals was taken quite seriously. We all know the common ones, such as herd of cows, a pack of dogs, a flock of birds, but there were plenty of obscure ones like an exaltation of larks, a murder of crows,…

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    Davezilla

  • How to Speak Waiter

    “I made this drink special for you. It has a unique, subtle flavor.”“I’ve added a toxic cleaning chemical to poison you. Can you guess what it is before the EMT arrives?” “May I take this out of your way?”“You selfish bastard. You’re taking up a table for four by yourself during our dinner rush. I…

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    Davezilla

  • My sex education class was a little different

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    Davezilla

  • Caitlynn is now single

    Awkward!

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    Davezilla

  • Is it deer season already?

    Image via Mandy L.

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    Davezilla

  • How to read a real estate ad

    Baroque = Broken Casual Living = Your neighbors have a refrigerator on their front lawn Charming = Corners don’t line up. Sagging porch. Country Living = Your street will never see a snow plow. Cozy = Cramped Diverse Wildlife = Raccoons will raid your garbage. Bats will roost in your attic. Coyotes will eat your…

    Written by

    Davezilla