Category: Observations

  • Maggie Gallagher Meets St. Peter

    Via misterarthur

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Boob Apron

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • What I Learned About Caves from Movies

    An explosion in a cave, no matter how small the blast, will result in the precise amount of falling rocks needed to just cover the solitary entrance. The rocks will always be small enough to be carried away by hand. Even when there are tens of thousands of bats, the guano will have no affect…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Russell? Seriously?

    Like many of you, I am addicted to HBO’s True Blood. Best. Show. Ever. Certainly the best vampire show. How then, did they come up with the bone-headed scheme of naming a 3,000 year-old vampire king Russell? Seriously? Russell means “red” so I can see the meaning, but seriously. A tri-millenial vampire should surely rank…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Roller Skate Ninja Attack!

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Die, Robin. Die.

    For three years now, I have been attempting to grow grapes. I planted two large vines in Lizz’s yard back when we were just friends. Last year, we got engaged and the first three bunches of grapes showed up, only to be devoured by insects a month later. This year, we got married and 42…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • English Swear Words

    Link via misterarthur, who is not a son of of beach.

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Space Girl Dance

    You know. It’s Casual Friday, and all.

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • What I Learned About Car Theft from Movies

    All cars can be hotwired. The first time the wires contact, they will spark. The second contact will always start the car. You’ll never steal a car with bad brakes, poor suspension, etc. Stolen cars can jump cliffs, bridges and take impossible turns. Stolen cars never have safety glass. Shooting a criminal’s windshield will always…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Game Over

    Link via chocolate razor

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Awesome vs. Not So Awesome

    Awesome: Pulling a pair of jeans on, still hot from the dryer on a cold winter’s morning. Not So Awesome: The metal button on the jeans is so hot, it sears your abdomen. Awesome: Using TweetDeck to automate Twitter on multiple accounts. Not So Awesome: Posting a highly personal tweet to your work account. Awesome:…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • 10 Things Women Never Say

    Do we have to get a puppy? I mean, look at that adorable tarantula! I just nuked a bitch. Your wedding dress is so fuckin’ badass. Fuckin’-a right, I’m robbin’ a bank! The dishes can wait. You need a lap dance. Cobra hunting? Be still, my heart! You don’t have all I can eat. You…

    Written by

    Davezilla