Banish Inadequacy

  1. This is just… I don’t know. I got nothing.
  2. Please sign my petition to get this evil product off the market.
  3. Just the thing for that next church picnic: Heavy Metal Belly Dancers!
  4. This man’s head does not match hiis body. In fact, his head may not match anyone’s body. [Link via Nikki]
  5. Llap Goch! Ancient Welsh martial art.
Show 17 Comments


  1. Esther

    1. Sorry Dave, I got nothin’, either. Speechless, actually.
    2. Do you think that the Octodog could be remarketed as a self-defense weapon for women?
    3. Hire these ladies for your grandparents’ next anniversary party! I mean, shit, who wouldn’t want to see a belly dancing tribute to Ronnie James Dio? The sound of hundreds of dentures dropping to the floor would be more than worth it!
    4. John always gets mocked when on the tv. John frightens me. John must be stopped.
    5. Bloody brilliant. 🙂

  2. Spud

    1. I got nothing
    2. Seen it before, still as deadly as ever
    3. That I’d like to see
    4. “Somebody order a size 10 head for a size 6 body?”
    5. I agree never to abuse the principles of LLAP-GOCH or consult a lawyer.
    I am over 4.
    I have an extra Y chromosome.
    Bill me later. I understand that if I am not completely satisfied I have been had.

  3. ReV.JeLLyBaBY

    Sometimes its better to just accept who we are.

    I myself may not have a muscular body and a gigantically disproportionate head, but hey I’ve still got friends.

    Although I COULD be like that PROBABLY in under 5 weeks like those other people (well probably about 2 weeks for me because I’m super tough and all) I have made the choice not to, despite the cleverly made adverts encouraging me to join the “freakathon” of the cranially challenged.

    But at least I had a choice!

    Did you know that through years of research, I have discovered that this kind of advertising is now affecting babies as well?

    They all have big heads and little bodies too, just like that man, don’t they? That can’t be NORMAL.

    What! You think they are born like that?

    No way.

    At some point they have witnessed this kind of advertising, maybe a casually discarded magazine, maybe on the T.V when you weren’t looking one day.

    Don’t feel like a bad parent and a big fat ugly failure, just be careful and remember that it’s subliminal so they don’t even need to be aware of it in order for it to work on them.
    Next thing you know your child will be running riot using “Llap Goch techniques” and head butting other children with its oversized head.

    For example just look at the guy demonstrating those costumes and having the bare faced cheek to say that they are “Great for theme parks!”
    Although I couldn’t be bothered to read the whole thing I’ve still formed MY opinion and I say to you and your evil twin Mr. Costume Boy that I don’t think so.
    How the hell are you meant to fit on a ride wearing that? And some theme parks may even charge you entry for two persons!

    Ha! Bet you never thought of that did you?

    I do like the Octodog though… It’s great for killing slugs and other sausage shaped pests and you can celebrate you slug octopus display afterwards with Heavy Metal Bellydancers. Hooray!

    It may be me, but I think people lie just to sell us stuff….


  4. “Octodog – turns your hotdog into a tentacled Elder God. Eat Cthulu before he eats you!”

  5. My children cover their eyes and make barf noises when John comes on tv.

  6. ReV.JeLLyBaBY

    In hindsight I really dont understand the need to turn hot dog sausages
    into slimy tentacled things anyhow? 🙂

    Maybe one that turns accountants,lawyers and estate agents into slimy tentacled….oh hang on.

  7. 1. Hey! They’re doin’ the BUNNY FUCK — or something. That Rabbit is just too close to the guy in the suit. These guys do KID’s SHOWS? I wouldn’t let ’em cross state lines
    2. Keep that fucking thing from MY WEENIE! JEE-ZUSS! CRIKEY! ON A STICK!
    3. Hey, I know these girls. Or maybe it was their sisters. Or cousins. Who knows? I always forget a face. But that’s not the important thing. You’ve got to have that memorable sexual encounter for it to be worthwhile.
    4. I dunno. Maybe he got that buff tan by putting a bag on his head while he went to the beach. That might explain why his face is lighter that his biceps.
    5. WTF? A cross between KLINGONS and cretins? I just love the subtlety of the humour.

  8. Esther

    My sister and I do that, as well, Nikki. Perfectly normal reaction, I think.

  9. ReV.JeLLyBaBY

    I found this letter to an agony aunt quite funny. 👿

    I am a sailor in the merchant navy. My parents live in South London and one of my sisters, who lives in Brixton, is married to a guy from Cardiff. My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Wormwood Scrubs for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being held in Wandsworth on remand centre on charges of incest with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who indeed is still a part time “working girl” in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancé utilising her knowledge of the industry working as the manager.

    I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would at least get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin. My problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.

    Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being Welsh?

  10. ReV.JeLLyBaBY

    Well thats it from me tiil Monday. Ive just been invited on a boating holiday throught Iran.
    Apparently the other 10 guys dropped out at the last minute.

    Bye all. 🙂

  11. frisko

    Wow. Only a true Red Wings fanatic would buy the hotdog converter. Hmmm Christmas is only around the corner. The martial art that requires NO intellegence…hmmmmI have to think about that

  12. Buggy

    #4 man looks like an early Richard Marx.

  13. mikeB

    I read the title as “British Inadequacy.” After reading the Llap Goch I may have been right. :mrgreen:

  14. Though the content is no longer at that URL, I believe that “Llap Goch! Ancient Welsh martial art” joke originated in a book put out either by Not The Nine O’Clock News (British comedy show in 80s) or Comic Relief. If memory serves, Rowan Atkinson had a hand in the writing and may even have been in the photos.

  15. wally

    The Llap Goch Ad was in The Brand New Monty Python Papperbook from around 1974? You can see it here The book is full of great spoof ads. I might still have it somewhere.

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