Posted inObservations

Performance

07 January, 200514 Comments

No doubt you’ve seen television commercials for impotence and “male enhancement” drugs, such as Viagra or Enzyte. There is a constant reference to “performance”. As if your penis is auditioning for the Theatre of Epidaurus in the Stanislavski Method. I can almost picture the inner workings of the penis’ mind as it prepares for its “performance”.

  • Brain: Are you ready to do this?
  • Penis: Not really, I mean, what’s my motivation?
  • Brain: Well, pussy. I thought that was obvious.
  • Penis: Of course. It’s just that …
  • Brain: Yes?
  • Penis: This could be the performance of a lifetime. I really need to nail it the first time.
  • Brain: Look, no pressure. Just get in there and act natural.
  • Penis: Natural. Yeah. I was thinking more like Brando in On the Waterfront. Real hard, like.
  • Brain: You coulda been a contenda.

Co-authored by Natalie

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Last updated on 07 January, 2005
Show 14 Comments

14 Comments

  1. Natalie
    07 January, 2005,

    Just…don’t let your penis yell, “Stella!”

    Especially when it’s not your girlfriend’s name.

  2. Anna
    07 January, 2005,

    “WE WANT MORE …. WE WANT MORE …. WE WANT MORE”

  3. Spud
    07 January, 2005,

    I sense a theme…

    😛

  4. mikeB
    07 January, 2005,

    Anna wants more penis. :mrgreen:

  6. Steppenwolf
    07 January, 2005,

    Brain: Just be The Incredible Hulk…and hope you don’t turn green afterward.
    Penis: Ok, shut up. I have a mind of my own you know.

  7. frisko
    07 January, 2005,

    I vote for MUSE sexual enhancer, staring “ugly PJ dude”. Any fella that is willing to use that stuff, and deal with the after effects makes me glad I am not a guy. For bravery alone he deserves to get his willie wet.

  8. frisko
    07 January, 2005,

    Lots of booze in those ugly living rooms. lol
    They needed it to deal with the decorators.

  9. rust
    07 January, 2005,

    VIE AY GRRR AHHH!

    What’s that? Never heard of it. Never needed it. Never will.

    It’s good to be the King. Especially when you have an all-day sucker hanging below your belt…

  10. ReV.JeLLyBaBy
    07 January, 2005,

    Despite Natalie’s “Streetcar Named Desire” musings I would just like to take this opportunity to announce my current status.

    I’m alive.

    Which at this point in time is a good thing…..unlike penis shaped chocolates which are bad.

    Unless your a penis shaped chocolate maker, which would mean that you are gainfully employed, unlike myself.

    I am now an “Unemployed” single Dad, after having my children “given” to me over the Xmas period by the powers that be.

    Not unlike Stacy I’m now offically on a break, as my “hiatus” is ill at the moment.

    But in retrospect, I’m actually quite excited about the whole thing!

    “Life is an awfully BIG adventure” said H. M Barrie. I’m not convinced, but then again……..

    Who is?

    😕

    Happy New Year Crew…..

    and may all your dreams be wet ones.

    :wtf:

  11. Mandy
    07 January, 2005,

    We missed you, ReV! :kiss::kiss::kiss:

  12. Esther
    07 January, 2005,

    Glad to have you back, ReV.:smile:

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