Apezilla

14 July, 2005Posted inUncategorized17 Comments
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I’m sorry, what was the question?

13 July, 2005Posted inObservations16 Comments
Today's post was inspired by loyal reader, Dee Evans. He says, "How about you do one of those things where you give us the punchline and we have to come up with the joke?" An excellent idea. The punchline: So the penguin throws out the donuts and tells the midget prostitute, "See? It's just like riding a bike!" viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal…

Caption Time #61

12 July, 2005Posted inCaption Time20 Comments
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Pep talk

11 July, 2005Posted inObservations16 Comments
It's not often one can walk into a public restroom and hear a conversation between a man and his penis. I had just that dubious honor bestowed upon me today in a certain downtown coffeehouse chain. The gentleman, who will not be named and may or may not be pictured below, was having trouble getting the pee going and gave his unit a brief pep talk. "C'mon, little man, You heard what the doctor said, now PERFORM! C'mooooooon!" viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6…

I ain’t eatin’ there

10 July, 2005Posted inUncategorized13 Comments
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OK, fess up…

09 July, 2005Posted inObservations10 Comments
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This is what her ass looks like

08 July, 2005Posted inUncategorized15 Comments
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My thoughts are with you

07 July, 2005Posted inObservations24 Comments
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Useful movie quotes

07 July, 2005Posted inObservations34 Comments
Oftentimes one finds oneself without the proper quip or epigram for a given situation. In such times, I prefer to look to the arts — particularly trashy movies — for inspiration. Below are my new favorites. Feel free to use them on coworkers and bosses in response to… well anything, really. "You get out of here! And take your hand with you!" El Mariachi "Didn't I kill you already?" Hellboy "Pai Mei taught you the five point palm exploding-heart technique?" Kill Bill, Vol II "Yes. We can rebuild. Enlarge the containment field. Make it bigger and stronger than ever! But…

Reader Poll

06 July, 2005Posted inObservations21 Comments
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A woman’s touch

05 July, 2005Posted inObservations31 Comments
One thing that has always bothered me and that's when a woman tells a man, "This place really needs a woman's touch. It bothers me because a woman's touch generally means seizure-inducing floral prints and a concrete duck on the front porch that wears a seasonal apron. Here's what I mean: What you ownWhat she'll replace it with Beer bottle collectionHummel figurine collection* Neon Bud Light wall decorationFabric art that resembles misshapen rug samples glued together "Art" magazinesActual art magazines Engine on the kitchen tableHoliday-themed candle centerpieces Beach towels on the sofaChenille throws on the sofa "Yeah, it's got a…

Overheard: War of the Worlds edition

04 July, 2005Posted inObservations15 Comments
Warning: Movie spoiler ahead Well, not really, but if you're a stickler for not knowing anything about a movie in advance, don't say I didn't warn you. So I went to see WotW by myself Sunday and as always, sat directly in front of the stupid couple that have to explain every single scene to each other. Some examples of the inanity: Scene: Tom Cruise is playing catch with his son. His son hates him, and not just because he is a scene-stealing, cradle-robbing Scientologist. So Tom throws him a fast ball, and he steps aside to make sure it…