Ask your nurse for some apple juice. Pour it into a urine specimen jar. Nonchalantly walk down the aisles, sipping it. After an operation on [some body part], wake up…
Reviews in Haiku 300 Best. Movie. Evar. Goddamned kids keep yelling out, "Dude! This… is… SPARTAAAAAA!" Beowulf Did they really have Hot chicks like Angelina In ancient Denmark? Spiderman 3…
I would like super powers. Nothing too fancy, mind you. Just minor abilities to get me through the week. The ability to see through chocolates to the fillings before taking…
…but today I nailed one without skipping a beat. [SCENE: Starbucks] Woman: "Ahem. Is that an Apple product?" Me: "Yes, it's a G4 Laptop" Woman: "Well, you must be a…
This is a post for the gentlemen. Brothers, it's time for a lesson in etiquette. As longtime author of Manly Tips for Bachelor Living and creator of the best-selling calendar…
Colds are disgusting. Your eyes look and feel sand-blasted, your nose has lost five layers of epidermis and you are left with the lung capacity of an asthmatic sparrow, but…
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