The Dump and Run

1. Bigwavdave

   23 February, 2008, 11:59 am

   You should try the infield bathrooms at Fontana, first thing Sunday morning on NASCAR weekend! :puke:

2. Meagan

   23 February, 2008, 12:21 pm

   I personally hate it when they forget to flush! C’mon ladies, if you don’t want to touch the handle with your hand, then use your foot! 👿

3. janeeto

   23 February, 2008, 12:46 pm

   I hate it when it doesn’t flush clean: 1) when you SHOULD flush a second time because the water pressure didn’t flush it all, or 2) when it leave a mark on the inside of the bowl-please, put another ass-gasket or some TP in the bowl to help scrub off the residue! Why the hell are we discussing this at 9:45 a.m.??? 😕

4. Pablo

   23 February, 2008, 1:36 pm

   The Sultan strikes again, filling the Eastern half of the United States (and probably some of Canada) with the lofting scent of shitting squirrels & skunks.

5. Maddog

   23 February, 2008, 1:51 pm

   Would a 🙁 “COURTESY FLUSH” be to much to ask? 😕 :dead:

6. Mandy

   23 February, 2008, 5:31 pm

   [Comment ID #231865 will appear here]

   i know, right??

7. hoatzin

   23 February, 2008, 5:34 pm

   Howdy Doody woke the instant he landed in the ice-cold water.

   “Oh shit!” he thought as he bobbed to the surface.

   “Why do I feel so crappy? Ugh, have I put on a few pounds! And….oh! What in God’s name is that SMELL?”

   Looking around him, he became aware of his surroundings.

   “Classical music piped into the bathrooms – check! Royal Doulton porcelain – check! Gold-plated plumbing fixtures – check! Shit, I’ve landed in an advertising agency again!”

   “And that guy who was using the urinals – why is coming over to take a look? Get lost, buddy!”

8. Flash Gordon

   23 February, 2008, 5:46 pm

   Pervs don’t got manners. :puke: 🙁 😈

9. blaster gas

   23 February, 2008, 6:59 pm

   I personally believe in flushing the moment the turd hits the water. Yes this involves several flushes but it saves on air polution! 😕

10. AnnieB

    23 February, 2008, 7:02 pm

    [Comment ID #232020 will appear here]

    or good grammar. 😛

    Where the hell you been? I’ve missed you! :kiss:

11. Meagan

    23 February, 2008, 7:10 pm

    Damn that Ronald McDonald video is annoying! Someone should shoot whoever made that. 👿

12. patrick

    23 February, 2008, 7:18 pm

    I’m sorry but sixty second is all I could stand of the Ronald McDonald video. The first part reminded me of the Zapruder film, “back and to the right, back and to the right”. We could only get so lucky.

13. Bjorn Freeh

    23 February, 2008, 9:32 pm

    In some cultures, the Dump and Run is considered a high-point of social courtesy. This includes any community whose name ends with “ucky” (including Hazeltucky).

    You should feel honored.

14. Spud

    23 February, 2008, 10:22 pm

    The Dump & Run should be followed by the –

    WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

    This one struck gold this morning in the site shed…

    The Beer Dump

    Nasty! Depends upon the dumper’s tolerance and is the result of too many
    beers – doesn’t matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister,
    lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could
    close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised…..

    In fact I might go so far as to say that paint was seen peeling off the outside walls.

15. J

    23 February, 2008, 10:40 pm

    I wanted to not say anything but try taking a piss when there is the nasty vapor+the smell of a cigar or cigarettes -that will make me wanna puke when Im drinking-and I smoke…So hella nasty I’ll pull my shirt over my face ninja style 🙁 :puke:-vapor bombs so nastee

16. J

    23 February, 2008, 10:41 pm

    can we talk about naked chicks instead

17. Trukindog

    23 February, 2008, 11:44 pm

    Dave
    I hope none of your readers are epileptic dude , That fuckin Ronnie McD’s shit nearly gave me a seizure.

    So I’m with J
    [Comment ID #232171 will appear here]
    AnnieB, Meagan, Mandy…we know your out there.

18. Trukindog/Driver

    24 February, 2008, 12:00 am

    Dave I hope none of your readers are Epaleptic that damn Ronnie McD nearly gave me a seizure.

    So I’m with J
    [Comment ID #232171 will appear here]

    AnnieB, Mistress Darla, Mandy…we know your out there

    :wang:

19. ZenReaper

    24 February, 2008, 12:01 am

    I didn’t last :30 seconds w/ Ronald. As for Dump n Run… it could be worse… they could Dump n Dump some more… :dead:

20. Trukindog

    24 February, 2008, 1:41 am

    [Comment ID #232066 will appear here]

    And the guy playing Ronald too , or at least bitch slap the hell out of him
    :dead:

21. Steve W

    24 February, 2008, 2:50 am

    The dump and run is mild compared to a dry dock. The dry dock is taking a shit, turning the water off, then flushing, leaving the shit “dry docked” in the toilet. No amount of flushing will fix it. Oh my god its the worst.

22. Night Queen

    24 February, 2008, 4:53 am

    What irks me is when someone takes a dump, and Lysol or some other air freshner is provided and they could have used it before anyone else walked in. 🙄 Ever go in a restroom knowing you are wearing nice perfume/colgne, and when you walk out you don’t smell it anymore because of someone elses’… “inconsideration”? :puke: Man, I hate that when that happens! :dead:

23. Chris S.

    24 February, 2008, 6:08 am

    I has something similar happen to me. I don’t know if there is a term already out there for this, but if there is please feel free to post it here. We always called it “The Drive-by”. This happened to me several times back when I worked retail. Anyone that works retail knows you spend a lot of time cleaning up and straightening the aisles after the herds of oxen that qualify as customers rampage through the store.
    On more than one occassion while performing this duty a customer quietly wandered through the aisle, paused not more than 10 feet away and dropped a ridiculously wretched, malodorous 10-megaton SBD only to make a speedy getaway. There I sit with a pile of merchandise choking on this wonderful gift of shock and awe, when another customer rounds the corner only to give me that incredulous look and beat a hasty retreat at the first whiff of the immediate surroundings. Even better is when the store manager does it to you and laughs his ass off the rest of the day because he spied on you from 2 aisles down to see the hapless victim’s face and the retreat that would make Speedy Gonzalez proud.

    I sure don’t miss retail.

24. Lake Effect

    24 February, 2008, 8:35 am

    [Comment ID #232171 will appear here]

    Amen & hallelujah.

25. Meagan

    24 February, 2008, 9:34 am

    [Comment ID #232198 will appear here]

    I am and I’m waiting… naked in bed! 😈

26. Trukindog

    24 February, 2008, 9:52 am

    [Comment ID #232435 will appear here]

    Mistress Darla may I serve you breakfast in bed , I have some reeeeeeeeally gooooood SAUSAGE you should try
    :wang:

27. pablo

    24 February, 2008, 10:30 am

    You kept everything on the same topic today. Someone taking a dump, Zombies in the sewers and that video was pure crap.

    BTW if there really are any zombies in these sewers you would think they would starve. They eat brains, right?

28. rust

    24 February, 2008, 10:43 am

    Oh god I am so sorry Dave, I didn’t know you were there…

    😳

29. Supercharged_goddess

    24 February, 2008, 10:53 am

    :wtf: Oh yall so missed the zillagirl connection with the Ronald McDonald thing! Yes I watched the whole 5:18 and I know I will NEVER get it back, but see, Ronald fell over b/c ALL the zilla girls walked by naked, the whole mirror thing was to attempt to train up to rip what’s left of Meagan, Annie B, and Mandy’s clothes off, followed by the funky excersice thing was when some said to raise your hands if you want Mistress Darla to spank you, and the side step hip thrust was practice for getting hooked up with Nicolette, speaking of, has anyone seen her today? oh, and about today’s post: :limp: Dave, seriously, stop watching that 2girls 1 cup video. it’s :puke: :dead: Now can we invision the zilla girls doing the Ronald thing, you know, naked, and together?

30. Trukindog

    24 February, 2008, 11:41 am

    Supercharged_goddess

    I love the way your mind works but really if any of us Zillaguys ever got the chance to tear clothes off of the Zillagirls I dont think any training would be necessary for that .

    Training for stamina yes but I think in the end we would still need Paramedics and O2 😀

31. Meagan

    24 February, 2008, 12:33 pm

    [Comment ID #232441 will appear here]

    With special sauce too? 😈

32. Trukindog

    24 February, 2008, 1:03 pm

    [Comment ID #232500 will appear here]

    A rich warm creamy sauce just for you

    :wang: 😛

33. Jimmie Hupp

    24 February, 2008, 3:46 pm

    :limp: :wang: 😛 I absolutely am bewildered!!! Where am I? Did I step off of the planet? Someone please explain to me what to do here…. Also, what’s the problem with flushing??? I do it even if I don’t want to. It’s being a part of those big people’s world. What next will I have to endure?? wtf ROTFFLMFAOAU

34. Nicolette

    24 February, 2008, 5:44 pm

    Just to get off the dump point, I have forever been a victim of Spray and Go. You ladies know what I mean, you walk into a restroom, use the facilities, and as you’re washing your hands, another woman walks in and begins to spray her ridiculously coiffed hair with an entire can of hair spray! Then she leaves you there to choke as the next woman in hits the noxious cloud and gives you a dirty look. Bleck! :puke:

35. Trukindog

    24 February, 2008, 7:11 pm

    Test Test this is my third try to post

36. Trukindog

    24 February, 2008, 7:19 pm

    Relax and enjoy Jimmie it’s all good here.

    Mistress Darla why have I not been disciplined for spewing….uh I meen spilling cream sauce all over you . :wang: 😛 :undies:

37. Meagan

    24 February, 2008, 7:37 pm

    [Comment ID #232686 will appear here]

    And all over my shoes! I’ll whip you thrice as hard for that! 😈

38. Lake Effect

    24 February, 2008, 10:54 pm

    [Comment ID #232625 will appear here]

    Planet? PLANET? WE DON’T NEED NO STINKIN’ PLANET!!

    What to do? Grab on to something :boobs: (your call here), hang on (or out :wang: ), and enjoy the ride!! :wtf:

39. Lake Effect

    24 February, 2008, 10:57 pm

    I goofed again!! I meant to quote this….

    [Comment ID #232560 will appear here]

    Planet? PLANET? WE DON’T NEED NO STINKIN’ PLANET!!

    What to do? Grab on to something :boobs: (your call here), hang on (or out :wang: ), and enjoy the ride!! :wtf:

    (Sorry for the misquote, Nicolette. I’m overcome with embarrassment.)

40. stairdog

    25 February, 2008, 12:53 am

    I stopped to use the restroom at one of those plazas on the NJ turnpike awhile back. I walked in and all the urinals were busy as were all but one of the stalls. I entered it and understood why it was empty. In the toilet was a turd of massive proportions! I can’t even imagine what kind of being left it there. It certainly wasn’t going to flush down the can. I turned and left looking for another place to take a leak. As I left the stall a loudmouth guy with a Jersey accent stepped in. In a second he was loudly stating his disgust and came out accusing me of leaving it there, asking me what the fuck I’d been eating and if my ass was sore. It would have been real embarrassing if I happened to live at that plaza but I just laughed, jumped in my car and headed back to Boston.

41. Travis

    25 February, 2008, 7:09 am

    The porta potties and outhouses I had to deal with while I was in the military were no picnic. Plus there was no run and dump. People would ask ya what you thought about their achievments whil you were sitting there! Nothing more viled than digested and evacuated MRE’s :dead:

42. Bigwavdave

    25 February, 2008, 8:26 am

    Hey Dave – So post already, this place is startin’ to REALLY STINK! :wtf:

43. TimM

    25 February, 2008, 8:45 am

    I was in a mens room of a a bar/restaurant that not only smelled like 13 rotting Yak carcasses, but the guy was still in the stall grunting and moaning like he was trying to push Yak corpse #14 out his butt. I almost asked, “Dude, are you o.k.?” and I was hoping that I didn’t have whatever he had that caused it.

44. yankeerose

    25 February, 2008, 9:07 am

    what about the revenge factor?[Comment ID #232363 will appear here]
    I work surrounded by Mexicans. The SBD’s from after the lunch break are awful!!! I was able to get them back one day though and they kept at least 4 ft away from me for the rest of the night! ROFLMFAO!!!!
    😈

45. Schnookums

    25 February, 2008, 12:09 pm

    It happened to me this weekend, but it was a walkby farting. I was in Blockbuster and moved over to a different section of wall, that’s when the smell hit me. Didn’t have time to move away before an employee came up to me asking if he could help. I was grateful that he was able to give me a copy of the movie I wanted to rent, but horrified that he might’ve thought that I was the one to create the awful stench!

46. la_winky

    25 February, 2008, 4:45 pm

    I’m going to have creepy clown nightmares tonight… WTF!!!

47. TimM

    26 February, 2008, 8:39 am

    I had a kid on a school bus I drove who thought it was funny to stink up the bus. Several times he stood up and let out a loud fart on the captive victims of a moving bus. One day, I smelled it, yanked open the side window, in freezing weather. Some kids laughed at that so in a slightly complaintive voice I stated, “Hey, I’m trying to drive here!” I think that embarrassed him, he quit doing it.

48. Larfus

    27 February, 2008, 4:21 pm

    Ok I can handle the dump part , it is the not washing your hands afterwards that I hate. I have to stop at truck stops a lot to fuel up and witness this more and more. Then the person goes around the store touching everything ewww . Quick story once I was walking up to the urinal and couldn’t help notice a man with a chicken drum stick in his mouth. . :wtf:

49. Maven

    29 February, 2008, 5:03 pm

    Not only do I perpetrate the “Dump and Run,” I also “hotbox” the elevator on those days when I feel particularly flatulent. I get down to the lobby level, and if no one is there waiting, I’ll do a full-on fartgasm in the elevator, with the doors closed, it locks in the “seasoning” for the next schmuck.

    PS: Someone else in the building has a penchant for hotboxing, so I’m hoping it’s him who gets a snootful.

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