Stumpy McSpeedybottom

1. Woozle

   23 April, 2005, 12:04 am

   Ah-bu? :wtf:

2. Bob Downe

   23 April, 2005, 2:06 am

   bless you!

   😳

3. Esther

   23 April, 2005, 3:33 am

   I feel like I’ve just read the synopsis of a snail snuff film. You can call it “Escargot II:Morton’s Revenge.”

4. wantwit

   23 April, 2005, 4:01 am

   i have your snail.

5. Spud

   23 April, 2005, 4:16 am

   I liked the story, right up until old speedy got the salt.

   Then I cried.

   😕

6. Kirk

   23 April, 2005, 5:11 am

   When I was a child, I had brought some snails to the home aquarium from a summer vacation at the lake. The only thing I remember about snails is that one day we had 3 or 4 snails and the next time we looked we had a tank full. Frisky little fellows!

   Two further observations: 1) I knew leeches could be killed by salt, but I did not know the same effect was on snails. 2) Why would you salt the little bugger before you dropped him in the boiling hot water for a tasty treat. One should always taste their meal before adding salt.

7. Weary Hag

   23 April, 2005, 6:29 am

   I didn’t know you could off a snail with salt either! I knew you could do that with slugs. Snails are pretty good for cleaning up a fishtank, but I can’t see any other real purpose for them.

8. rust

   23 April, 2005, 11:47 am

   Touching, absolutely touching! I cried for hours. Then, I sneezed. Oh, sorry, it’s snail slime.

9. JFLY

   23 April, 2005, 12:59 pm

   This redneck finds a snail on his backporch…he picks up the snail and hurls it as far as he can across his yard. Three months later, he gets a knock on his backdoor. He answers it and finds the same snail sitting there. The snail says “WTF was THAT for?!!!” :wtf:

10. Natalie

    23 April, 2005, 7:51 pm

    If I had another cat, his name would be Señor Catolino. He would wear a tiny bolero jacket and have the finest whiskers in all the land.

    Dave knows the rest of the story. 😉

11. Kirk

    23 April, 2005, 11:10 pm

    Okay, this link has nothing to do with snails, but found it and had to share it.

    http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/I/INDIA_CONDOMS?SITE=IADES&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

12. Spud

    23 April, 2005, 11:17 pm

    Thanks Kirk, my day is now complete.

    😈

13. Esther

    24 April, 2005, 3:45 am

    JFLY – :lol::grin:

14. Lung the Younger

    24 April, 2005, 6:06 am

    Teach you snail to jump:
    1. place your snail on a flat surface and surround him/her with a thin circle of finely ground sodium chloride.
    2. Place delicious lettuce leaves outside the salt sircle.
    3. Go have a coffee.
    4. Repeat as necessary until you find a sufficiently athletic snail.

15. Fran

    24 April, 2005, 11:32 pm

    I had a pet slug for a little bit. I kept him outside and fed him french fries. When I went out to check on him, I found him half dead and the other half eaten by a raccoon who must have mistaken him for an extra tasty fry.

    It was a sad day for me.

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