Ruminations

Anyone who has ever been in a a car with a woman for more than five miles knows one immutable fact: they have to pee already. They went while getting ready to leave. Right as you held the door open for them, they ran back in to pee once more. Now that you have been driving for ten minutes, they need to pull over and pee again. No doubt, the first thing they will do on arrival is pee again.

This leads me to one inescapable conclusion. Cows, deer and other ruminants have four-chambered stomachs. Women, have four-chambered bladders.


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Comments

22 responses to “Ruminations”

  1. Esther Avatar

    Anyone who has ever been in a car with me will soon realize that they’d better be the ones to use the bathroom before we leave. I can usually go about 3 hours on the road before a bathroom break is needed.:java:

    Oh, and that eyeball link completely skeeved me out.:dead:

  2. Minnie Avatar

    How true is that!
    I need to pee every hour when I am outside. Strangely, when I am at home, the loo visits are less frequent. Maybe I develop a four-chambered bladder only when I am away from home. 🙄

  3. Anna Avatar
    Anna

    It’s not that we actually have to pee, we’re pretty f**king scared to get into the penis-enhancers that men drive, that we try anything to get out of it.

    Now for my less bitchy remark:
    I don’t know were you get these things, the females in my a family are of the non-peeing kind. VERBOTEN to pee while on trips. We can even read maps and drive a truck, be the designated driver and not be scared while driving in the fog.

  4. Lung the Younger Avatar

    Shouldn’t complain Dave. You may never have to use jump cables again.

    http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/08/0818_050818_urinebattery.html

  5. Lisa Avatar
    Lisa

    I’d rather not use a public toilet. We joke about men having poor aim but more often than not, when I go in to use the toilet, the woman who was there before me piddled on the seat. If you’re going to hover, lift the seat!

  6. Kami Avatar

    “Eyeball always goes well with a nice Merlot.”

    We’ve got a wild one on our hands.:wtf:

  7. frisko Avatar
    frisko

    Dave-isburg-zilla must have a bladder of steel. However I do not, nor do many of my gal pals.
    Man must understand the fear of a road sign that informs us “Next rest stop 215 miles” A bad man joke. Just because man has “picnic plumming” does not make it nice to point out the “I have to pee” difference between men and women. Additionally quality women require dry, fresh, feeling.

    I am done now, I have to pee.

    Next topics….Picnic plumming, pee weeds behind garages, and writing your name in the snow.

    Laughing on the way to the water closet

  8. garth Avatar
    garth

    Like…’n have you guys EVER been drivin’ with a chick ‘n you wanna pee and she wanna pee too only you don’t talk about it ‘n you can hang on ’till the nex’ road stop ‘n she jus’ keeps talkin’ ’bout wanna peeing an’ in the end……..she screams and you slam on the brakes an’ she heads for the bushes before the car stops an’ her scream scares you so hard you start to pee…………jus’ a lil’ drop but it marks your light grey duds ……? N’ then you get out ‘n head for the bushes too? ‘N when she gets back in the car she’s dry and YOU are the one with the evy dense showin’ that you pee’d when you coulda held on in the first place if she hadn’t talked ’bout it so much and screamed?

    ADVICE: Take duct tape witchya on the trip…….then when she starts moanin’ ’bout needin’ to pee………….whack it on quick……….and you’ll be safe and keep your self respect y’all.

  9. frisko Avatar
    frisko

    The link of today makes me think of a Budweiser ad.

    Mrs. Eyeballdebrislickingremoverhopeshebrushesflossesregulary

  10. Wendy Avatar
    Wendy

    The only time I have to pee alot is when I’ve been drinking. I made it through a 7 hour trip only stopping once. Aint I good??:undies:

    That ball licking woman is fucked up. That’s just gross. I think Id rather be blind, thanks just the same! ❗

  11. rust Avatar

    Detroit is really missing out on the innovation of eternity! In-vehicle catheters!! Just think of the possibilities…

  12. Nikki Avatar

    How old is this “woman”? Five? Incidentally, I have a friend who has to poop whenever we go to Staples or Office Depot. Can someone explain that?

  13. Esther Avatar

    Nikki, it’s all that packaged fiber.:twisted:

  14. Used Hack Avatar

    I misread the first line. I thought you said “under a car with a women.” 😕 :wtf:

    Totally different. 🙂

  15. Nina Avatar
    Nina

    :dead: Eyeball liking women is something I could have lived without knowing about! Gross!!!

    My problem with having to pee so much on trips is that hey…I drink alot of pop when we are on a road trip. Therefore it doesn’t take but thirty minutes before nature calls!
    Sorry to all the men who have to live with it!!

  16. pappy Avatar
    pappy

    I’m weird but I never have to stop to pee. I mean I can stop like once every 3 or 4 hours and I’ll be fine.. I’m just a weird girl. 😆

    Also, the eyeball thing.. GROSS!! I’d rather go blind than have my eye frenched by that crazy old lady.. Who knows where her tongue has been.. 😕

  17. Tami Jo Avatar

    This post is my fault. I am the four chambers with which Zilla had to contend this weekend. 😳

  18. Nikki Avatar

    Heehee. I might have known.

  19. michaeljCOX Avatar
    michaeljCOX

    :undies: I found these on the side of the road.t

  20. Cbatdux Avatar
    Cbatdux

    She’s quite a vision. 😛

  21. tallredheadedgirl Avatar
    tallredheadedgirl

    Well, being pregnant and all, I have to admit that I am one of those women who has to pee ALL THE TIME. But my husband doesn’t seem to mind…

    I must have done something wrong because MY link of the day had NOTHING to do with eyeballs. I’ll let you use your imagination as to what actually showed up on my screen…

    :wtf::boobs::wang::roll:

  22. Tom McMahon Avatar

    Explained At Last: Why Women Need All Those Bathroom Stops On Long Road Trips

    MRI scans of the male and female pelvis, from a GE operator’s manual for the technologists who run their MRI scanners. Should be a required part of every drivers ed course in the US of A.

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