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Allergy Remedy

Nikki: "I was too tired for movies last night. Allergies are kicking my ass."Me: "Why do allergies have to kick our ass? Why can't they lightly pinch it?"Nikki: "Seriously."Me: "Or grope it."Nikki: "Hehehehe."Me: "My allergies are really groping my ass. And it's kinda nice."

Baby Ghengis

Every year in the Mongol Empire, circus performers from the Far East and would arrive to demonstrate feats of skill and daring and 1169 C.E. was no different. It was this year that a small girl-child named Temüjin would see the circus for the first time. While the tigers, elephants, camels and phoenixes were impressive enough to the young girl, it was the knife-throwing act that kept her spellbound, until an errant throw sent a knife hurtling in her direction. Without even thinking, she stood up, turned precisely 62° clockwise, and caught the blade expertly in her peg-like baby teeth.…

Village Idiots Gone Wild!

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Caption Time #179

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Overused Movie Clichés #5

"There's worse things out tonight then those creatures.""Like what?""Like me." "We got something special, babe. Real special. Now ditch the bra and get back onstage." "Don't go out there. You'll only get killed. Ben needs you. I need you." "This knife belonged to my great granddaddy. Killed a lot of Indians with it. Now it's my turn." "You think I'm nothing cause I come from the streets, huh? You think you're better than me? Cause you went to school and learnt things? Is that what you think?" "A girl's gotta use what she's got. I mean, whatever it takes, right?…

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Caption Time #178

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If women planned fishing trips

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If Men Planned Weddings

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What I learned from watching MTV Trés

No matter how many women a man sleeps around with, he can always get his true love back by making puppy dog eyes at her in a nightclub While Latino men need to bundle up in thick winter coats in Southern California, Latina women find that hot pants and a sequined bra are the perfect outfit for any weather condition: hot, cold or monsoon Cellphones have outstanding reception, even in remote Mexican ghost towns Drum machines are actually powered by an old Cuban man with a straw hat and congas It is not only acceptable to go to a formal…