Davezilla.com

Mind your T’s and A’s

By Davezilla 30 January, 2005Observations22 Comments

On Friday I got the following error message in BBEdit. Someone had misspelled "title" within a link tag. Error:File wn_messaging.jsp; Line 72: Document type does not permit attribute "tit" within element "<a>". The moral? Don't put your tits in your a.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra…

Psychic or psycho?

By Davezilla 29 January, 2005Uncategorized11 Comments

Spotted at Starbucks last night chanting, "Am I psychic or psycho? Psychic or psycho? Psycho or psychic? You decide! AHAHAHAHAHA!" He and his 35 year-old D&D buddies seemed to find this highly amusing. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap…

Caption Time #37

By Davezilla 28 January, 2005Caption Time25 Comments

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Most Dangerous Jobs

By Davezilla 27 January, 2005Observations22 Comments

Bouncer for a Viking Menstrual Hut Wife of Henry VIII Orca Orthodontist at Sea World Wickerman tester Target Changer for the Blind Rifleman's Association Belfast cab driver Ethiopian Ambassador to Mississipi Catnip grower in India Poison taster for warning labels President of the Ashlee Simpson Fan Club Horticulturist in Chernobyl viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase…

The mind is not the first thing to go

By Davezilla 26 January, 2005Observations25 Comments

My 41st birthday is this Sunday. They say the mind is the first thing to go. For me, the mind is not the first thing to go. it will be my sense of smell. Four years ago I had a neighbor that reeked so powerfully of God knows what that I thought I had smelled the doorway to Hell's outhouse. He was later incarcerated, presumably for impersonating a septic tank. For the last two years, my Albanian neighbors have been cooking up dishes that must surely consist of wet dog fur and old jockstraps (traditional recipe). Truly that was the…

Modern Literature in Five Words

By Davezilla 25 January, 2005Observations18 Comments

Swann's Way â€” Marcel Proust "I just can't fall asleep." Lo! â€” Charles Fort "It's raining cats and frogs." Mists of Avalon â€” Marion Zimmer Bradley "Ew! With your own brother?" The Prophet â€” Kahlil Gibran "You're all just lazy peasants." The DaVinci Code â€” Dan Brown "Fine. Blame Leonardo for everything." Angela's Ashes â€” Frank McCourt "Irish boys have dreadful lives." Finnegan's Wake â€” James Joyce "They'll never figure this out." Little Birds â€” AnaÃ¯s Nin "Girls have naughty thoughts, too!" The Age of Spiritual Machines â€” Ray Kurzweil "Yes, computers will take over." Against All Enemies â€” Richard…

A favor

By Davezilla 24 January, 2005Observations69 Comments

I have a confession. I've not been very pleased with this site over the past year. No, I am not going to give up posting. I just want to improve the content. I reread some of my older entries and in 2001-2003 I wrote some great entries. Last year, I could count on one hand the number of posts I wrote (not counting pictures) that made me laugh. The pictures are another issue. I have been posting an awful lot of reader-submitted photos and fewer of my own. Why? Work is interfering. I love my new job at Campbell-Ewald, but…

Words fail me

By Davezilla 23 January, 2005Uncategorized29 Comments

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Best Worst Dream Ever

By Davezilla 22 January, 2005Observations16 Comments

I had the stupidest dream of my life last night. In the dream, my best friend was Corey Feldman. All of my friends at work kept teasing me for hanging out with him, but I kept defending Corey. "You just don't know him like I do. He's a great guy in person. He's honest and genuinely likes to help people." Corey convinced me to rob a Coney Island. We made off with $90 and two packs of ketchup. No police were called, but we were chased down by the fry cooks. Corey threw the ketchup packs like Ninja throwing stars,…

Caption Time #36

By Davezilla 21 January, 2005Caption Time16 Comments

Number holding competition

By Davezilla 20 January, 2005Uncategorized34 Comments

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Overheard: 9th Graders Gone Wild Edition

By Davezilla 19 January, 2005Observations39 Comments

[ Scene: Coffeehouse counter, two 9th grade girls are flirting with the barista, a man as gay as a French Horn ] Girl #1: "Can you believe this? She [ points to Girl #2 ] isn't even wearing underpants and it's like um, fucking minus a hundred?" Girl #2: "I fuckin' never wear panties. Shit, no. They're so â€¦ confining. Y'know? See? No tanlines. [ Girl #2 actually pulled down her camo cargo pants, flashing underage girly bits to an apathetic coffeehouse. I was one of only two patrons that seemed horrified. ] Barista: "Uh huh, very sexy." Girl #2:…