Notes to Self, No. 5,702-6

  1. When your girlfriend says, “The spiral staircase that we have to carry everything up is really narrow,” she speaks the truth.
  2. When your girlfriend says, “My television is lot heavier than it looks,” believe her.
  3. When your girlfriend says, “The room behind the scary little door in the wall is dusty and full of spiders,” she isn’t exaggerating.
  4. When your girlfriend says, “I have a ton of books to move,” take that literally.
  5. When your girlfriend says, “The traffic from the CNE might interfere,” she’s understating things.


  1. When my girlfriend says: I won’t be gone long –she is telling an untruth.
    When my girlfriend says: I won’t be annoyed if you go out with your friends tonight – she speaks with forked tongue.
    When my girlfriend says: You do what you want –her sincerity falls a little short.
    When my girlfriend says: I’m not upset – she is protecting me from the cruel reality of the situation.

    Believe me Dave, you’re better off with someone who doesn’t mince her words and gives it to you straight.

  2. Spud

    What Natalie says goes…


  3. soferet

    At least you listen to her – more than most guys do.:eek:

  4. mikeB

    When my GF says, “Lick my shoes like a dog, bitch!” I yawn and casually grab a beer and turn on ESPN.

  5. Many many many relationships have been spoiled on moving day. That trendy queen st. west flat is worth every pulled muscle, I am sure.

    Actually, it depends if it’s west of Crawford, that’s the Loony Bin, where much of my family passed years hoping for release. If it’s east of crawford, like at scratchin’ — er, Strachan, that’s trendy reno-vatin land.

    Ahh, People City. This concludes our broadcast day.

  6. stormbringer

    I never really realized just how much shit I had til I moved from Clearwater Florida to Christchurch New Zealand and still ended up waiting 3 extra months to get it. The joys of moving.

  7. jess

    when my boyfriend says “I’m getting off the freeway right now” it usually means “I just GOT in the car & I can SEE the freeway.”

  8. Did you kill all those venomous spiders for her, Dave?

  9. Damn, if I had a girlfriend I could actually say something funny. Maybe Mandy’s open… :kiss:

  10. There weren’t any spiders in the room behind the little door. Just a dancing midget who speaks backwards.

  11. Honey, I spared you the excitement of the lovely arachnid that I pulled off my neck when I was removing the paint cans. :kiss:

  12. Dammit Dave, how’s she gonna sleep tonight knowing that Arachnaphobia flopped in theatres? uhhh — is John Goodman in Toronto right now?

    and just what is a “Thrillodomy” — some kinda movie that screws you up the ol’ wazoo?

  13. Mandy

    Always listen to the woman. Always. :kiss:

  14. Natalie, keep that dancing, backwards-talking, midget around. They’re great for dusting those hard to reach places, and I hear they make a mean Denver omelette.

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