How to win an argument with a cat

1. smizzy

   05 October, 2004, 12:49 am

   How about I just put the *cat* into the grocery bag, along with the Q-Tip? That’s an automatic win, right there.

2. Margaret

   05 October, 2004, 1:52 am

   At what point is is safe to bring the Quadratic Equation and Pythagorean Theorem into the ‘discussion’?

3. jen

   05 October, 2004, 2:38 am

   My cat gets me in trouble. she picks the qtips out of the trash. I get yelled at for letting her have them and her leaving them all over by “the man”. He’s always keeping us down.

4. ReV.JeLLyBaBY

   05 October, 2004, 3:05 am

   SO AS I WAS SAYING, MR. CAT,

   In derivation Einstein used result of relativistic variation of light energy

   l* = l [1-cosf ] / (2)

   where l is light energy of plane wave of light in co-ordinate system (x,y,z)., which is at rest. The ray direction i.e. wave normal makes angle f with the x-axis of the system (x,y,z). This light energy as measured in system (X,Y,Z), which is in uniform translation w.r.t. (x,y,z) along x-axis with velocity v is l*. But while deriving final result i.e. L =D mc2 Einstein interpreted the equation under classical conditions (v<

5. ReV.JeLLyBaBY

   05 October, 2004, 3:06 am

   P.S NOW SHUT YOUR FACE AND EAT YOUR CAT FOOD!

   😕

6. Olly

   05 October, 2004, 4:31 am

   Smizzy – have you ever tried to put the cat in the bag? Its just not gonna happen. The need persuading.

7. Simon O. Rebsdorf

   05 October, 2004, 5:15 am

   Putting the cat into the bag sounds easy, especially after persuading arguments. But what about looking at the problem from the cat’s point of view? A bag is not a bad place to be for a cat, it even containts *properties*, which are regarded to be positive by most cats: most grocery bags make nice sounds when you (or the cat) touch them, they are considered fun to jump into, and they function as potential hiding places during livingroom hunts.
   I think that the bootstrap theory is relevant in this connection. If it is indeed valid, which still needs to be proved by the best theoreticians of physics and mathematics, then perhaps the human running away part will just be complementing the cat’s oppertunities of winning the argument, as the cat will hover above you after a certain amount of time, which will perhaps be no more than the time of light to travel from the floor to the attic, which is a relatively small amount of time.
   If the owner of the cat is named Schrödinger, then this whole discussion of course needs to be revised, and we will have a new topic branch, since Erwin Schrödinger’s cat was subdued horrific thought experiments, which, I believe, must have had a negative effect on the cat’s desire to discuss any matters whatsoever!

8. Anna

   05 October, 2004, 5:47 am

   You know, I’ve got this handy 2by4. I never have any problems with any of my cats.

   I’ve got splinters in my hands though. 🙄

9. wantwit

   05 October, 2004, 6:33 am

   this hurts my head. maybe because i’m in lab from midnight to 9 am then back in for 3 hours this afternoon.

10. mikeB

    05 October, 2004, 6:38 am

    Piece of duct tape on the back works wonders 😈

11. Mandy

    05 October, 2004, 7:14 am

    Brain hurts. Need :java:

12. Spud

    05 October, 2004, 7:19 am

    Brain hurts, need Mandy 😀

13. wantwit

    05 October, 2004, 7:57 am

    This degeneration of the thread makes me nauseous in addition to my sleepiness.

14. Anonymous

    05 October, 2004, 8:27 am

    In a former life chapter, I maintained a residence for a cat named Brody, and A cat named Casey. They both loved me very much for the grand things I did during my servitude of them. Since that chapter is closed, I have switched to birds, leaving the cats for my neighbors to live with. They just find it amusing to sit on my roof, and mess with skunks that live in the area.

15. Anonymous

    05 October, 2004, 8:28 am

    The cats sit on my roof to piss off the skunks, not my neighbors. Setting the record straight.

    frisko

16. Anonymous

    05 October, 2004, 8:30 am

    wantwit may have morning sickness, which BTW is not always caused by pregnancy.

17. Davezilla

    05 October, 2004, 8:41 am

    Sure it’s your brain that hurts, Spud? 😛

18. rust

    05 October, 2004, 9:46 am

    OH FERKRYINOWTLOWD!

    The EASIEST, but the absolute EASIEST way to win the argument is simple.

    Stare the cat in the eyes for 10 seconds. Stand up slowly while staring — move towards the kitchen area, keeping eye contact. Reach into the kitchen area and touch the electric can opener.

    VOILA! You have won.

19. Esther

    05 October, 2004, 10:23 am

    The easiest way to win an arguement with a cat, is to not actually have a cat. Just reason with the air for a few minutes, then go have a nice satisfying cup of caffeine.:lol:

20. Natalie

    05 October, 2004, 3:15 pm

    Kitties are so cute when they discuss philosophy!

21. Spud

    05 October, 2004, 5:32 pm

    Cats always win, they don’t have masters, they have orderlies. 😕

22. Icairus

    05 October, 2004, 6:20 pm

    I can’t argue with my cat, because It is currently Shroedinger’s Cat

23. rust

    05 October, 2004, 6:57 pm

    you mean, you aren’t sure it’s Shrödinger’s cat? that is, you think that his cat isn’t your? uhh, what’s the question?

24. rust

    05 October, 2004, 6:59 pm

    heisenberg says, that if you think that your cat belongs to Shrödinger then you must not be existing in an alternate universe. Of course, Planck is still messing with his marbles.

25. facette

    05 October, 2004, 10:09 pm

    Just remind that cat how tender it will get if cooked using the same delicious recipe mom used .

    Top of the food-chain, baby !:mrgreen:

26. Steppenwolf

    06 October, 2004, 2:08 am

    A spray bottle filled with water will result in victory every time. No harm but cat will always lose. Miss my cat! :^(

27. cat knowledge | grep understanding

    11 October, 2004, 10:50 pm

    Too Good
    For anyone not familiar, Davezilla.com is an excellent site to check out during one’s daily browsing (or via RSS if you are cool like that). The latest gem was how to win an argument with your cat – a nice piece of geek-humor.

28. cat knowledge | grep understanding

    11 October, 2004, 10:53 pm

    Futile
    For anyone not familiar, Davezilla.com is an excellent site to check out during one’s daily browsing (or via RSS if you are cool like that). The latest gem was how to win an argument with your cat – a nice piece of geek-humor.

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